Doctor Evil

So I just got back from what I thought was going to be a quick trip in to have a nurse shove a swab into my throat in an attempt to capture some bacteria. It was a full blown appointment complete with blood pressure check and weight; my whole body weight, not just the blood.

Have you noticed now that when you claim to be in pain, you are asked to rate it on a scale of 1 - 10? I can't answer this question. I just can't. I haven't had time to establish a baseline or collect any pilot data. How can I determine if 7 is the correct number if I don't know what 1 and 10 are? Can't I just say that it really hurts? I can get descriptive if you want. My throat feels like little fairies have crept down there with little fairy razor blades and slashed both sides and the top of my throat and then rubbed salt all over it. While I find swallowing to be quite painful, I'm willing to shove anything with a sharp edge down there just to scratch it and get rid of that little itch creeping up into my ears. Maybe I'll try a fork or an herb grinder or a dried up thistle.

They gave me a "quick staph" which determines if there are any staph bacteria present as well as using the good ole swabs. Don't get sick on Friday because you can't find out whether you've got anything until Monday.