The 2008 season is now over. I can so easily remember the week before it began; I was stressed because I hadn't had a chance to prepare the way I wanted to prepare, everywhere there was chaos in my life. As I lay in bed that Friday night, I though "Whatever happens, happens." I admitted defeat and tried to calm myself by thinking that, well, it's not brain surgery, no one's life will be lost. I'll just go in and do whatever presents itself and roll with the punches.
That's not easy to do out there because it's a land of extremes..at least for me it is. When it's good, it's phenomenal; when it's bad, it really sucks but that just helps to make the good times more phenomenal, more personal and more meaningful. There's no mundane middle of the road. That makes me extra sensitive which is something I can't be in my every day world. At least not if I want to excel at what I'm currently doing.
On my back I have a tattoo of a white stallion and a black stallion. They are hijacked from Plato's "Phaedrus" and are meant to represent the two extremes of humanity. They exist in everyone but are controlled differently by each of us. I've always felt that balance is important. That doesn't mean you need to find the middle of the two extremes and stay there. That would be mundane and boring, lacking in spark. Instead it means to counter the naughtiness of lymrics with asking a child if they had a good day and getting that beautiful smile as an answer. Balance also means having the hurt feeling of someone ditching you replaced with gratitude, love and humbleness when they come back and give you a "good job, bloke!" pat on the back.
Eight weeks later I can report that the punches were not bad at all. It was as great as my rookie year minus the constant yearning for approval. When you're a rookie, you need approval. People that had been good aquaintences have now become good friends.
Those good friends helped open my eyes to new possibilities in performance, new appreciation and love for patrons (especially those that plunk down the extra money for the wine show), new inspiration for the future (god knows what could happen tomorrow) and a new realization that everyone wants to be liked and everyone thinks there's a very good possibility they're not liked. We're all just really a bunch of teenagers waiting to be asked to the prom.
Per the usual, Sunday night's closing gate activities were poignant and real. As I was standing in a crowd of good friends, I could hear Gordy's pan hitting his head every so often "Bang! Bang! Bang!" As the King confirmed for us why we are all there, (paraphrasing) because of honor...committment (Bang! Bang! Bang!)... passion for what we do... some other words I can't remember but my subconsious can so that whenever I think back to that moment, tears well up. Kind of like they are right now.
Next weekend I'll get to sleep in and I'll wake up crying because I get to sleep in. Then I'll get out of bed and start preparing for August 2009.
I'd list out the names of everyone I want to thank for various reasons but reading a huge chunk of names in boring. Just know, and don't think for a second that I mean everyone but you, that you mean the world to me and that I would be a complete mess without you.
Thank you.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The Last Hurrah...I mean Huzzah
Ceeeeehrist I cannot get out of here fast enough. We're still swimming in a sea of confusion and ever increasing resentment. People that are not directly tied to the new financial system are now declaring that two and a half months of dysfunction is long enough and things should now be fixed. That would be lovely if things could turn out like that but problems stay problems until they're fixed. Problems can't tell time.
I found a nice deal at Coffman for lunch. There's a Boston Market-type place where you can get a big meal for $6. That makes it worth the walk from my office to Coffman which only takes five minutes during the summer but then takes 10 during the academic year. I'm a fast walker. This has been commented on extensively by friends, family and enemies. I can't help it. I'm trying to get somewhere, hence the walking. Just get the hell out of my way and we'll all be happy.
Well this is it. The final weekend. Where'd the time go? It seems like I've just found my groove and now it's ending. My body is very happy for this though. I need some frickin' rest. Just three days and one morning Roto-rooter appointment and I'll be in the clear. While there are a number of things that could be checked on in my house to make sure they're all fine and dandy, I decided the sewer line is the one I'd least like to have suddenly go on me. If the heat goes out, I can still smell pretty.
I'm taking next week off for vacation. I haven't had one of those since I tried to take some time off around the holidays last year and ended up being more stressed out because everyone knew that I was off of work and therefore should do what they needed me to do. None of that this next week. You're allowed to call but only to talk about fun stuff. The nails will be the first things to get done....wait, the second. The lawn has to get done first and there's no sense in doing nails when you have to then do landscaping. I even have the color picked out. It's Romeo and Joliet from OPI's Chicago line (Get it? Joliet as in the prison). I have it sitting out so I can stare and whine like a dog looking at a treat.
I'm also going to work on getting off of coffee and back to eating veggies. My eating habits over the last eight weeks have gone in the crapper. Thank goodness Anj makes such great stuff at the Guard Camp or else I would have nothing nutritional for meals.
I have no idea how this weekend will go, which is wonderful, and I'm actually getting those butterflies back in my stomach. I'll see you sometime in the future.
I found a nice deal at Coffman for lunch. There's a Boston Market-type place where you can get a big meal for $6. That makes it worth the walk from my office to Coffman which only takes five minutes during the summer but then takes 10 during the academic year. I'm a fast walker. This has been commented on extensively by friends, family and enemies. I can't help it. I'm trying to get somewhere, hence the walking. Just get the hell out of my way and we'll all be happy.
Well this is it. The final weekend. Where'd the time go? It seems like I've just found my groove and now it's ending. My body is very happy for this though. I need some frickin' rest. Just three days and one morning Roto-rooter appointment and I'll be in the clear. While there are a number of things that could be checked on in my house to make sure they're all fine and dandy, I decided the sewer line is the one I'd least like to have suddenly go on me. If the heat goes out, I can still smell pretty.
I'm taking next week off for vacation. I haven't had one of those since I tried to take some time off around the holidays last year and ended up being more stressed out because everyone knew that I was off of work and therefore should do what they needed me to do. None of that this next week. You're allowed to call but only to talk about fun stuff. The nails will be the first things to get done....wait, the second. The lawn has to get done first and there's no sense in doing nails when you have to then do landscaping. I even have the color picked out. It's Romeo and Joliet from OPI's Chicago line (Get it? Joliet as in the prison). I have it sitting out so I can stare and whine like a dog looking at a treat.
I'm also going to work on getting off of coffee and back to eating veggies. My eating habits over the last eight weeks have gone in the crapper. Thank goodness Anj makes such great stuff at the Guard Camp or else I would have nothing nutritional for meals.
I have no idea how this weekend will go, which is wonderful, and I'm actually getting those butterflies back in my stomach. I'll see you sometime in the future.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Kew da Wabbit, Kew da Wabbit
During my lunch break, I had the extreme pleasure of running across the Bunny Suicides in calendar form. If you haven't yet found this, I highly recommend it. I'm partial to the knife attached to the remote-control car which the bunny has positioned behind him and...never mind, go look for yourself.
Here's a related article on the subject. Someone please tell me that this is really an article from The Onion.
Here's a related article on the subject. Someone please tell me that this is really an article from The Onion.
I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty
Only five more days and I'll start to feel like a girl again. I love fest but.....until I get decent shoes that cover my feet, I'm not able to paint my toe nails and I LOVE painting my toe nails. I also need to properly attend to my fingernails which is a waste of time during my beloved fest because they just break...and I can't paint them.
This feeling has intensified because of last night's dance class. We played with makeup. We played with makeup for 90 minutes. I discovered that I get to go buy makeup because I don't have anything dark enough for the stage. More girlie stuff. I love fest but...with my character, the heat, and what I physically do out there, it doesn't make any sense to wear makeup because it'll just melt off. Next to the pretty belly dancers and court ladies I feel like a moose lumbering through a china shop. As long as I'm a funny, entertaining moose lumbering through a china shop then everything is okay.
Some good timing could finally be coming my way. Just as fest is ending, Lund's is hiring. This is good because I need money and if I can get paid and possibly get a food discount at the same time, I can try to get myself out of the large group of people who spend over 30% of their income on housing costs.
One way of cutting expenses was to eliminate cable which was done years ago and is not missed. In fact, I may ditch my TV entirely because all I get out of it now are ridiculous campaign commercials. They are already annoying me to no end and it's only the end of September. I have a whole other month to get through. Netflix will have to come to the rescue.
I'm going to go wrestle with the online application process. Wish me luck.
This feeling has intensified because of last night's dance class. We played with makeup. We played with makeup for 90 minutes. I discovered that I get to go buy makeup because I don't have anything dark enough for the stage. More girlie stuff. I love fest but...with my character, the heat, and what I physically do out there, it doesn't make any sense to wear makeup because it'll just melt off. Next to the pretty belly dancers and court ladies I feel like a moose lumbering through a china shop. As long as I'm a funny, entertaining moose lumbering through a china shop then everything is okay.
Some good timing could finally be coming my way. Just as fest is ending, Lund's is hiring. This is good because I need money and if I can get paid and possibly get a food discount at the same time, I can try to get myself out of the large group of people who spend over 30% of their income on housing costs.
One way of cutting expenses was to eliminate cable which was done years ago and is not missed. In fact, I may ditch my TV entirely because all I get out of it now are ridiculous campaign commercials. They are already annoying me to no end and it's only the end of September. I have a whole other month to get through. Netflix will have to come to the rescue.
I'm going to go wrestle with the online application process. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I should have been warned
So I'm sitting on my couch before dance class minding my own business when out of nowhere, John Haynes and Lazslo Nemesi pop up on my TV screen during a Grand Casino commercial. I had just taken a Benedryl not long before so my first reaction was "Boy, that looks a lot like John Hay....WHAT THE FUCK?!" Someone should have warned me. Did I tell you about the time I was in the high school jazz band and we played in the Government Center in downtown Mpls and this guy in a trench coat and sunglasses looking just like Lazslo sat and watched the whole thing and then came up to me and passed me a note that said he was Jesus? True story.
I'm so shaken by the event that I can't even think of anything else to write.
I'm so shaken by the event that I can't even think of anything else to write.
Monday, September 22, 2008
To Think or Not To Think
I'm a bit of a control freak. I like to have a routine, a schedule. If my planned schedule is disrupted, I get cranky but then I also don't like to do the same thing for too long. All of this makes me a slight pain in the ass.
I wanted to leave by 6:00am Saturday morning because I had a lot of things to lug onto the grounds and I wanted time to stretch out and eat and I also wanted my usual parking spot. I left at the scheduled time but when I got to Hwy 169 I realized that I had forgotten a comp ticket for someone so I had to go home to get it. This meant at least a 20 minute shift in schedule. This vexed me greatly. It turned out that the timing was perfect because by the time I got everything on site and went out to drop off the ticket, the person who was to receive the ticket was standing in line. All of my vexation was for nothing.
Another scheduled stop that morning was to ask D'Lis about the whole stage-fright thing. I'm not kidding, it was scheduled (OCD, party of one). She told me I was overthinking things. Telling a control freak that they're over thinking things only makes them think things over more. Us control freaks have to learn the hard way about when to stop thinking. I wish there was an applause sign around all the time that would flash "Think" instead of "Applause" so that I would know when I could take a break.
The rest of the day was changed around due to circumstances beyond my control which is the best thing for me because then I was forced to do other things. I walked around all of the lanes I missed out on the previous weekend and got a chance to watch some great ones like Allen A'Dale and Gary Parker. I was still in overthinking-control-freak mode so I contemplated why they would still do this after so many years. Then I was thinking about how Twig had once said to just be what you are at the moment; if you're mad, then let your character be mad. Then I was thinking about what exactly Butch was trying to say to me at opening gate but I couldn't quite get with the squeaker and all (something like whittikey, whippy, whitney, finally on the way home in the car it hit me....WHISKEY! HE WAS SAYING WHISKEY!). Then I was thinking about who to switch up in the wine show because one act had to cancel. Then I was thinking that if I stay in one spot, I can interact with more people as they walk by (Duh!). Then I was finally tired of thinking and luckily it was the end of the day.
Sunday, the "Think" sign was turned off and I just did...whatever. Very nice, much more relaxed, why didn't I think of that sooner?
I wanted to leave by 6:00am Saturday morning because I had a lot of things to lug onto the grounds and I wanted time to stretch out and eat and I also wanted my usual parking spot. I left at the scheduled time but when I got to Hwy 169 I realized that I had forgotten a comp ticket for someone so I had to go home to get it. This meant at least a 20 minute shift in schedule. This vexed me greatly. It turned out that the timing was perfect because by the time I got everything on site and went out to drop off the ticket, the person who was to receive the ticket was standing in line. All of my vexation was for nothing.
Another scheduled stop that morning was to ask D'Lis about the whole stage-fright thing. I'm not kidding, it was scheduled (OCD, party of one). She told me I was overthinking things. Telling a control freak that they're over thinking things only makes them think things over more. Us control freaks have to learn the hard way about when to stop thinking. I wish there was an applause sign around all the time that would flash "Think" instead of "Applause" so that I would know when I could take a break.
The rest of the day was changed around due to circumstances beyond my control which is the best thing for me because then I was forced to do other things. I walked around all of the lanes I missed out on the previous weekend and got a chance to watch some great ones like Allen A'Dale and Gary Parker. I was still in overthinking-control-freak mode so I contemplated why they would still do this after so many years. Then I was thinking about how Twig had once said to just be what you are at the moment; if you're mad, then let your character be mad. Then I was thinking about what exactly Butch was trying to say to me at opening gate but I couldn't quite get with the squeaker and all (something like whittikey, whippy, whitney, finally on the way home in the car it hit me....WHISKEY! HE WAS SAYING WHISKEY!). Then I was thinking about who to switch up in the wine show because one act had to cancel. Then I was thinking that if I stay in one spot, I can interact with more people as they walk by (Duh!). Then I was finally tired of thinking and luckily it was the end of the day.
Sunday, the "Think" sign was turned off and I just did...whatever. Very nice, much more relaxed, why didn't I think of that sooner?
Friday, September 19, 2008
If you're not in the pile, you get no attention
I was watching a Pavarotti special last night where he admitted that he always was a little frightened before he went out on stage. I find that adorable and a little relieving because I usually get stage fright...except for the wine show. I used to get scared before every show last year but not this year. I think I should have jitters. I think I should change something so that I do get the jitters. I don't know what that thing is yet. I'm too tired now to think of that. Maybe the wine show is fine but I should find something else out there that gives me stage fright. Is that supposed to be one word? I've seen it both ways. I'm leaving it as two words.
I have a plan today. I'm taking all of this paper everywhere in this office and putting it in a pile. TA DA!!! That's it!!! That'll solve everything!!! Just kidding. The pile will be.....organized! By priority!!! This is the part where I really love email, if anyone tries to contact me with something they need, I'll respond with "I'll get to it on Monday." I'm excited. I can't wait to try it on someone.
Oo, guess what...I found another cheap watch at Target so I'll finally have my own timepiece this weekend. Gretchen will be overjoyed.
Time to go sort and then try to think about what I want do to when I grow up.
I have a plan today. I'm taking all of this paper everywhere in this office and putting it in a pile. TA DA!!! That's it!!! That'll solve everything!!! Just kidding. The pile will be.....organized! By priority!!! This is the part where I really love email, if anyone tries to contact me with something they need, I'll respond with "I'll get to it on Monday." I'm excited. I can't wait to try it on someone.
Oo, guess what...I found another cheap watch at Target so I'll finally have my own timepiece this weekend. Gretchen will be overjoyed.
Time to go sort and then try to think about what I want do to when I grow up.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Addendum to #7 below
Okay, the reason I'm rehashing this is because this same pattern is turning up at work at in my personal life. The pattern consists of a broken system that is allowed to continue by the highest level because there are people below, in the trenches as it were, who are providing the band-aid.
I have three points in regards to this type of situation:
1. Doing something for others, or taking action on something, doesn't mean that you're helping. To act and to help are not the same thing. Sometimes, in order to help a situation, it's best to do nothing. Choosing to do nothing is usually the harder choice; it's more painful and can be detrimental to individuals in the short-term. If you're truly interested in helping the situation, that's something you'll have to consider because you may get stuck with the painful part.
2. Clinging to an outdated concept or a memory (even worse) is not realistic. It's not what's happening right now. Are you really sure about that memory you have? Was it really that great? If it's been some time, maybe you've romanticized it or conveniently forgotten the bad parts of that great season or that great job. If what actually happened were compared to your memory of it, the two could be completely different.
3. You have no control over the future. No one has any idea what could happen tomorrow. By not letting go, you may be denying something even better in the future. There are no facts in the future. Even gravity isn't a fact. It's a theory. You could keep dropping a ball over and over and maybe one day it'll fall up instead of down. It could happen. Sure lots of things would need to occur in order for it to happen, but my point here is that no one knows. No, you're not a psychic. Psychics do not exist as they define themselves. They name themselves as psychic and then they take your money. That's a whole other topic.
I have three points in regards to this type of situation:
1. Doing something for others, or taking action on something, doesn't mean that you're helping. To act and to help are not the same thing. Sometimes, in order to help a situation, it's best to do nothing. Choosing to do nothing is usually the harder choice; it's more painful and can be detrimental to individuals in the short-term. If you're truly interested in helping the situation, that's something you'll have to consider because you may get stuck with the painful part.
2. Clinging to an outdated concept or a memory (even worse) is not realistic. It's not what's happening right now. Are you really sure about that memory you have? Was it really that great? If it's been some time, maybe you've romanticized it or conveniently forgotten the bad parts of that great season or that great job. If what actually happened were compared to your memory of it, the two could be completely different.
3. You have no control over the future. No one has any idea what could happen tomorrow. By not letting go, you may be denying something even better in the future. There are no facts in the future. Even gravity isn't a fact. It's a theory. You could keep dropping a ball over and over and maybe one day it'll fall up instead of down. It could happen. Sure lots of things would need to occur in order for it to happen, but my point here is that no one knows. No, you're not a psychic. Psychics do not exist as they define themselves. They name themselves as psychic and then they take your money. That's a whole other topic.
My work team is made up of several individuals with varying years and type of experience. We also all have different needs. I don't have a family so I could take a pay hit or a job loss slightly better than someone who has others to support. Some of us have cleaned up after others and have been the band-aid because we may have thought at the time that it was helping or that it was the right thing to do, but we're three years into the new college and nothing has changed. The system is not improving, morale is not improving, we haven't increased efficiency or improved work life, we've only identified our stressors. Oh, and we've made some lists of things that would make it better.
People are given Service Awards for going "above and beyond". If it didn't help the college but only allowed others to slough off, then maybe that shouldn't be rewarded. Couples are celebrated when reaching a milestone like a fortieth wedding anniversary, but if they've made themselves miserable, maybe they shouldn't have stayed married that long. Maybe I should head into the unknown and see what else is out there.
Randomness
Sure, as soon as I buy fingerless gloves, it's going to be 80 degrees this weekend.
The only thing that's keeping me from being sick right now is drinking all of that goddamn pomegranate juice.
I wonder if anyone was clamoring to be the first car across the new bridge this morning? They wouldn't really be the first because construction workers have been driving on it for months. Not to mention the line of cops and then MNDOT trucks that were at the head of the parade. I just watched it online on KSTP and teared up a bit. I'm blaming that on the weather.
I'm sick of coffee. What? I know, I can't believe it either.
I want to go home and make stuff out of cloth. I'm saying that because I'm staring at a pile of paperwork that I don't want to delve into. I'll stay here if I can turn my phone off.
That William Shakespeare sure could write.
I don't know where the line is between helping people and being taken advantage of but my 2006 Academy was fucking amazing and it'd be a shame if that could never be duplicated.
There are probably only a handful of people that will understand that last sentence. Actually, the numbers could be lower than that, I have no idea who reads this.
I finally have a nice lawn and I'll probably only get to enjoy it for about two weeks.
Wassily Kadinsky really had a way with the color red.
I wish these helicopters would quit flying around, I feel like I'm in Compton.
My lawn was so long last night when I was mowing it that a rabbit was trying to hide from the mower....in the lawn...only a few feet away. I think that's a combination of the lawn being really high and the bunny being really dumb.
I found a free parking space on the street today, that makes getting out of bed worthwhile.
The only thing that's keeping me from being sick right now is drinking all of that goddamn pomegranate juice.
I wonder if anyone was clamoring to be the first car across the new bridge this morning? They wouldn't really be the first because construction workers have been driving on it for months. Not to mention the line of cops and then MNDOT trucks that were at the head of the parade. I just watched it online on KSTP and teared up a bit. I'm blaming that on the weather.
I'm sick of coffee. What? I know, I can't believe it either.
I want to go home and make stuff out of cloth. I'm saying that because I'm staring at a pile of paperwork that I don't want to delve into. I'll stay here if I can turn my phone off.
That William Shakespeare sure could write.
I don't know where the line is between helping people and being taken advantage of but my 2006 Academy was fucking amazing and it'd be a shame if that could never be duplicated.
There are probably only a handful of people that will understand that last sentence. Actually, the numbers could be lower than that, I have no idea who reads this.
I finally have a nice lawn and I'll probably only get to enjoy it for about two weeks.
Wassily Kadinsky really had a way with the color red.
I wish these helicopters would quit flying around, I feel like I'm in Compton.
My lawn was so long last night when I was mowing it that a rabbit was trying to hide from the mower....in the lawn...only a few feet away. I think that's a combination of the lawn being really high and the bunny being really dumb.
I found a free parking space on the street today, that makes getting out of bed worthwhile.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Leeann Chumps
I officially hate Leeann Chins. Their portions of the actual meat that you order is getting smaller and they're replacing it with rice but if you choose fried rice you pay extra because it's considered an upsale so you're paying more for less. While you're digging for cash or a credit card (because they won't take my check, fuckers) they'll try to get you to buy their frozen yogurt too and if you say no, they shake their heads in disappointment. From now on, I'm making my own breaded chicken pieces and smothering it in rice vinegar and brown sugar.
I remember the good old days when a tray of Leeann Chin's would give you at least two meals. I worked with a guy at the Ramada Plaza Minnetonka (which is now the Sheraton) who would bring it in all the time and feed several of us at once. It only lasted a short while because he eventually called in one day after missing a day of work to tell us that he was in a Buddhist temple in Miami after a blond woman he had met at the bar drugged him and drove him down there. To this day, that is the most creative excuse for missing work that I have heard. He was Asian and I still wonder if he used that excuse thinking that we would believe an Asian was kidnapped and thrown into a Buddhist temple in Miami instead of believing a man simply didn't want to come to work anymore.
I've started crafting my to-do list to tackle after fest. It looks very similar to the list I had in the beginning of the summer and the list I had last fall and the list I had when I moved in. How does that happen? Why does nothing ever stay done? It could have something to do with the fact that I keep wanting to change things. I get bored if things stay in the same place for too long. Once you move something, it starts a domino effect because then something else has to move and then you find something you have to fix and pretty soon you're scouring the oops shelf of paint at Home Depot. If you don't know about this shelf, I highly recommend it. I painted my house and some rooms a couple of times with paint from this shelf. Five bucks for a gallon of paint. Can't beat it. Well, you could try stealing it but then you'll have that shoplifting charge hanging over your head preventing you from getting that job with the FBI.
I'm going to go and try to earn some money so I don't have to steal things.
I remember the good old days when a tray of Leeann Chin's would give you at least two meals. I worked with a guy at the Ramada Plaza Minnetonka (which is now the Sheraton) who would bring it in all the time and feed several of us at once. It only lasted a short while because he eventually called in one day after missing a day of work to tell us that he was in a Buddhist temple in Miami after a blond woman he had met at the bar drugged him and drove him down there. To this day, that is the most creative excuse for missing work that I have heard. He was Asian and I still wonder if he used that excuse thinking that we would believe an Asian was kidnapped and thrown into a Buddhist temple in Miami instead of believing a man simply didn't want to come to work anymore.
I've started crafting my to-do list to tackle after fest. It looks very similar to the list I had in the beginning of the summer and the list I had last fall and the list I had when I moved in. How does that happen? Why does nothing ever stay done? It could have something to do with the fact that I keep wanting to change things. I get bored if things stay in the same place for too long. Once you move something, it starts a domino effect because then something else has to move and then you find something you have to fix and pretty soon you're scouring the oops shelf of paint at Home Depot. If you don't know about this shelf, I highly recommend it. I painted my house and some rooms a couple of times with paint from this shelf. Five bucks for a gallon of paint. Can't beat it. Well, you could try stealing it but then you'll have that shoplifting charge hanging over your head preventing you from getting that job with the FBI.
I'm going to go and try to earn some money so I don't have to steal things.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Weekend #...whatever
I think I was at the Ren faire this weekend, but I'm not sure. I know I covered the ground between the gate, the white tent and the pavillion. I made it over to the guard camp for Anj's amazing food and twice down to the Puke and Snot area to pick a losing fight. Other than that, I have no idea if anyone was in any other area of the grounds because I never made it there. Instead, I convinced somewhere around 1300 people to drink copious amounts of wine.
You'd think I would love Wine Weekend but sometimes...umm....not so much. The weather absolutely sucked. Rain does not deter a certain sector of the diehard fans. It also doesn't deter the drunks. I love the diehards who are still willing to interact and have a great time despite the fact that they're soaked. I hate the drunks because the rain encourages them to drink more as if changing the ratio of alcohol to red blood cells flowing in their veins would suddenly make the clouds go away. By Saturday night, I was completely fed up with drunks. They are loud. They are loud for no good reason. Their faces contort into hideous expressions not unlike taking a smiley face cup that has been shattered into hundreds of pieces and gluing it back together. They do the same stupid gestures over and over again. It isn't funny the first time. It's not going to be funny the sixth time you do it either. And stop asking that same fucking question "Where'd you get the glass?" I'm going to stuff it straight up your ass if you ask again. Now, not only are Linda and I plagued by this question, but other cast members are hounded too. I received reports from two different cast members claiming to have been asked that question at least 12 times and it was only 11:00am. Here and now I announce that I will stop telling patrons to go ask the King what I did to get the glass so they can get one too. This madness has to stop. That and I don't want Johnny mad at me.
It's a good thing that lots of awesome things happened during the weekend too otherwise I may come off sounding like a complete arrogant, whiny little pissant. Antonia's back. Antonia's really back. You've all been warned. Luckily she's very persuasive and I'm easily swayed so we ended up doing the free wine tastings at the Pavillion and I'm quite confident in saying that everyone had a really good time. We finally sold out some wine shows (our Royal Wine Tasting show) and both of them just about brought the tent down. Kudos must be given to the three poor saps we brought out on Sunday after Antonia had a spark of mischievousness and decided to call up three performers who were hanging around the back of the tent. D'Lis is perhaps one of the best people to ever work with. She had no idea what to do and said as much while walking (skipping?) out to the middle of the tent exclaiming "I have no idea what we're going to do but I'm SO excited!" Little did she know that in the near future she would be bent over with two grapes resting on her tushy like a fluffy cotton platter for George to eat off of. The third poor sap, Jake (aka Matt) had his own wife suggest that he get nailed in the balls with one of George's clubs and before she could finish her request, the job was done and Jake was on the ground. It's a good thing that an announcement was made at cast call for us to tone the bawdiness down. I can't imagine what would happen if we were given free rein.
Gretta, Ethel and Jake did a wonderful job with the grape stomp and while we may not have had a large crowd for it, they were definitely into the event and it became a lot of fun. The free-wine-tasting people were really fun to work with. They merrily went along with whatever we did with the crowd. Thank goodness they didn't expect us to actually recite factual information about the wine. That could have been a train wreck.
I sloughed off on my closing gate duties this weekend by hanging around the smoker too long but I'm considering it a learning session. Watching Shamus and Lazslo come in and just do something without any bells or whistles and entertain a large group of people was inspiring. I watched a similar scene last year during a rain weekend and had the same feelings. I want to find something, some type of thing I can do at the drop of a hat to entertain for a few moments and then move on to the next group. I have some initial thoughts, possibilities, but it's definitely going to require commitment and tons of practice on my part. Well, the good stuff always does though, doesn't it?
Boy am I glad Antonia's back. I needed that shot in the arm, I was starting to get lackadaisical.
You'd think I would love Wine Weekend but sometimes...umm....not so much. The weather absolutely sucked. Rain does not deter a certain sector of the diehard fans. It also doesn't deter the drunks. I love the diehards who are still willing to interact and have a great time despite the fact that they're soaked. I hate the drunks because the rain encourages them to drink more as if changing the ratio of alcohol to red blood cells flowing in their veins would suddenly make the clouds go away. By Saturday night, I was completely fed up with drunks. They are loud. They are loud for no good reason. Their faces contort into hideous expressions not unlike taking a smiley face cup that has been shattered into hundreds of pieces and gluing it back together. They do the same stupid gestures over and over again. It isn't funny the first time. It's not going to be funny the sixth time you do it either. And stop asking that same fucking question "Where'd you get the glass?" I'm going to stuff it straight up your ass if you ask again. Now, not only are Linda and I plagued by this question, but other cast members are hounded too. I received reports from two different cast members claiming to have been asked that question at least 12 times and it was only 11:00am. Here and now I announce that I will stop telling patrons to go ask the King what I did to get the glass so they can get one too. This madness has to stop. That and I don't want Johnny mad at me.
It's a good thing that lots of awesome things happened during the weekend too otherwise I may come off sounding like a complete arrogant, whiny little pissant. Antonia's back. Antonia's really back. You've all been warned. Luckily she's very persuasive and I'm easily swayed so we ended up doing the free wine tastings at the Pavillion and I'm quite confident in saying that everyone had a really good time. We finally sold out some wine shows (our Royal Wine Tasting show) and both of them just about brought the tent down. Kudos must be given to the three poor saps we brought out on Sunday after Antonia had a spark of mischievousness and decided to call up three performers who were hanging around the back of the tent. D'Lis is perhaps one of the best people to ever work with. She had no idea what to do and said as much while walking (skipping?) out to the middle of the tent exclaiming "I have no idea what we're going to do but I'm SO excited!" Little did she know that in the near future she would be bent over with two grapes resting on her tushy like a fluffy cotton platter for George to eat off of. The third poor sap, Jake (aka Matt) had his own wife suggest that he get nailed in the balls with one of George's clubs and before she could finish her request, the job was done and Jake was on the ground. It's a good thing that an announcement was made at cast call for us to tone the bawdiness down. I can't imagine what would happen if we were given free rein.
Gretta, Ethel and Jake did a wonderful job with the grape stomp and while we may not have had a large crowd for it, they were definitely into the event and it became a lot of fun. The free-wine-tasting people were really fun to work with. They merrily went along with whatever we did with the crowd. Thank goodness they didn't expect us to actually recite factual information about the wine. That could have been a train wreck.
I sloughed off on my closing gate duties this weekend by hanging around the smoker too long but I'm considering it a learning session. Watching Shamus and Lazslo come in and just do something without any bells or whistles and entertain a large group of people was inspiring. I watched a similar scene last year during a rain weekend and had the same feelings. I want to find something, some type of thing I can do at the drop of a hat to entertain for a few moments and then move on to the next group. I have some initial thoughts, possibilities, but it's definitely going to require commitment and tons of practice on my part. Well, the good stuff always does though, doesn't it?
Boy am I glad Antonia's back. I needed that shot in the arm, I was starting to get lackadaisical.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes
Friday...woot. My cabana boy didn't show up for my margarita and massage session - wait, I didn't make the appointment - wait, I don't have a cabana boy. Shit.
I've just now thought about how I'd like to change my garb up a bit. Why can't I think of this crap on Mondays? Good thing I have a new sewing machine. Oop, just thought of a way to reinforce the scabbard too. That'll take two seconds...one second with the new sewing machine. Those people that really do want to live back in the renaissance period are crazy, there's no way I'm giving up my sewing machine or shower or bagel slicer or Scrubs. I hope Jake the Gong Farmer is replacing the glass he accidentally busted last weekend because I never got around to buying another one. While replacing those glasses is a pain, it was absolutely hilarious watching a panic-stricken Jake run across the grounds with a glass still filled with "wine" but busted on the bottom. He was in an pretty good run too, knees up and everything.
I'm getting to that time of the year when I start thinking about changing everything. I want to rearrange my living room, get a new TV, change the small bedroom, build a practice space in the garage, change desks, change jobs, walk a new route to work, change change change. I need something different. I think I'll start by changing my screen saver. Finding the perfect image could take hours. That's how I'd prefer to spend my Friday rather than fixing all the stupid problems I've been fixing for people all week just to have them turn around and demand something else only this time faster. It always makes me grin and shake my head a little when I hear someone around here say they NEED something right away. It's an academic institution and while I believe that education and research are extremely important, they're not life-threatening and therefore nothing NEEDS to get done RIGHT NOW. There are very few things people need in life but lots of things we want. Speaking of which, if I don't stop fooling around and get to work finding what they NEED, then I'm going to need to find alternate means of covering the mortgage.
I've just now thought about how I'd like to change my garb up a bit. Why can't I think of this crap on Mondays? Good thing I have a new sewing machine. Oop, just thought of a way to reinforce the scabbard too. That'll take two seconds...one second with the new sewing machine. Those people that really do want to live back in the renaissance period are crazy, there's no way I'm giving up my sewing machine or shower or bagel slicer or Scrubs. I hope Jake the Gong Farmer is replacing the glass he accidentally busted last weekend because I never got around to buying another one. While replacing those glasses is a pain, it was absolutely hilarious watching a panic-stricken Jake run across the grounds with a glass still filled with "wine" but busted on the bottom. He was in an pretty good run too, knees up and everything.
I'm getting to that time of the year when I start thinking about changing everything. I want to rearrange my living room, get a new TV, change the small bedroom, build a practice space in the garage, change desks, change jobs, walk a new route to work, change change change. I need something different. I think I'll start by changing my screen saver. Finding the perfect image could take hours. That's how I'd prefer to spend my Friday rather than fixing all the stupid problems I've been fixing for people all week just to have them turn around and demand something else only this time faster. It always makes me grin and shake my head a little when I hear someone around here say they NEED something right away. It's an academic institution and while I believe that education and research are extremely important, they're not life-threatening and therefore nothing NEEDS to get done RIGHT NOW. There are very few things people need in life but lots of things we want. Speaking of which, if I don't stop fooling around and get to work finding what they NEED, then I'm going to need to find alternate means of covering the mortgage.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
MacBuck
I've finally managed to get the car into the shop this morning. I'm armed with a credit card and ready to pay it off over the next ten years. Maybe I'm exaggerating. I got a $25 coupon in the mail from the very same Car-X I went to this morning which I intend to march in and slam down on the counter when I pick up the jalopy this evening. A $25 coupon - HA - take that!
I was lulled into another episode of America's Next Top Model last night and it's because of the currently-a-man-soon-to-become-a-woman contestant. I'm really rooting for her. She has a great face. Tyra has taken to standing in obviously uncomfortable poses in an effort to make herself appear smaller than she really is. During the first season of the show when Janice Dickenson was on, her and Tyra got into it over current body size trends with Tyra raging on about how women need to be bigger and should not be ashamed, all that nice warm cuddly stuff. Why is she hiding her big body now? HUH!???!!! Hypocrite.
After an hour's dose of judging other people, I popped the 2006 Australian version of Macbeth in. It's set in modern times but sticks to the Shakespearean text. It took awhile for me to warm up to it because of the modern setting clashing with the dialogue. It doesn't fit. After the first twenty minutes, I got used to it. It was an interesting concept but ended up reminding me too much of Scarface. More like Bono playing Tony Montana in Scarface.
During construction of these prose, I have just been informed that my water pump is leaking and will have to be replaced which will bring the daily total to $600. This does not make me happy. I will now go and growl my way through my day until I pick my car up, smile pretty to make sure I get the keys back, and then growl all the way home.
I was lulled into another episode of America's Next Top Model last night and it's because of the currently-a-man-soon-to-become-a-woman contestant. I'm really rooting for her. She has a great face. Tyra has taken to standing in obviously uncomfortable poses in an effort to make herself appear smaller than she really is. During the first season of the show when Janice Dickenson was on, her and Tyra got into it over current body size trends with Tyra raging on about how women need to be bigger and should not be ashamed, all that nice warm cuddly stuff. Why is she hiding her big body now? HUH!???!!! Hypocrite.
After an hour's dose of judging other people, I popped the 2006 Australian version of Macbeth in. It's set in modern times but sticks to the Shakespearean text. It took awhile for me to warm up to it because of the modern setting clashing with the dialogue. It doesn't fit. After the first twenty minutes, I got used to it. It was an interesting concept but ended up reminding me too much of Scarface. More like Bono playing Tony Montana in Scarface.
During construction of these prose, I have just been informed that my water pump is leaking and will have to be replaced which will bring the daily total to $600. This does not make me happy. I will now go and growl my way through my day until I pick my car up, smile pretty to make sure I get the keys back, and then growl all the way home.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Flannel is my friend
Don't shoot me but I'm excited for winter to get here. I love snow. I love transforming my bed into a nest of flannel sheets and blankets with Delta Force Cat snuggled into the backs of my knees. I usually don't sleep well during the summer. There's too much going on. Either it's cool enough to have the window open allowing all of the night time noises to keep me on guard or it's hot enough to have the air on and then I'm aware of the muffled night time noises to keep me on guard. During the winter, it's too cold to do anything outside at night so I can completely relax.
I have no meetings today nor do I have to run across campus to work out of a different office so I fully intend to not answer my phone or most emails and actually get some work done. This thought makes me happy. Thank goodness someone invented a little button on the phone so that you can turn the ringer off. It's the little things that can make a big difference.
In case you haven't gotten to the paper yet this morning, I can report that Norm Coleman beat out Jack Shepard in yesterday's primary. Jack did manage to get 12, 430 votes out of the total 142,817. I wonder if those 12, 430 people realize he's on the lam living in Italy to escape an arson charge in Minneapolis or if they just wanted anyone but Norm to win. See, here's where it's extremely important to research who your voting for.
Enough inane chit chat for this morning, I'm off to start my day of non-communication.
I have no meetings today nor do I have to run across campus to work out of a different office so I fully intend to not answer my phone or most emails and actually get some work done. This thought makes me happy. Thank goodness someone invented a little button on the phone so that you can turn the ringer off. It's the little things that can make a big difference.
In case you haven't gotten to the paper yet this morning, I can report that Norm Coleman beat out Jack Shepard in yesterday's primary. Jack did manage to get 12, 430 votes out of the total 142,817. I wonder if those 12, 430 people realize he's on the lam living in Italy to escape an arson charge in Minneapolis or if they just wanted anyone but Norm to win. See, here's where it's extremely important to research who your voting for.
Enough inane chit chat for this morning, I'm off to start my day of non-communication.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Suggestion box
I have some pipes. This was made clear to me last night during dance class when we were doing snake arms and I was watching in the mirror comparing the lines between my deltoids, biceps and triceps to others who have nice smooth arms. Yes, I wanted the flabby chicken wings to go away but I'm not certain I'm entirely pleased with the bulges. At least I could probably knock someone down if I can remember how to hold my fist correctly so I don't break my wrist and then remember the ideal spots to punch someone so again I don't break my wrist. Geez, inflicting pain is so complicated.
Today I get a chance to discuss with the Senior Management Team my thoughts on the current financial team structure and how I think it may be improved. The Senior Management Team then has one week to come up with a proposal to the Dean after which there will be one month to draw up the plans for implementation followed by one month of moving everyone around to be finished in time for jingle bells and fruit cake. I had gotten word yesterday from someone who's already had their meeting that people are actually taking notes. I'm really not trying to sound sarcastic, but for the last three years, during any type of "tell us your thoughts" meeting, no one has ever taken notes. They would nod their heads sympathetically and say things like "I completely understand" and "Oh, that's a good suggestion" but no one ever wrote anything down. My suggestion is to give me more money. I think that'll solve everything. Massage Friday's is going to be another suggestion.
While I'm at it, I'd also like to suggest that a new department of Auto Mechanics be formed so that I could bring my car in and not miss any work at the same time. My blinkers still don't work and it's getting colder which makes sticking my arm out the window even more irritating.
I'm suggesting that someone go to my home and brush Delta Force Cat because he's getting mats and I don't have time to attend to them.
Suggestion #5 is that we develop the Teleport machine. Walking across campus is getting irritating now with students on bikes. Did you know that there's actually a rule against riding your bike on campus? It's true. You're supposed to get off and walk it through busy sidewalks. It's also true that the U of M Police force has a unit on bikes.
Suggestion #6 is for whomever is going to go to my house and brush Delta Force Cat to also flip my mattress...same reason as suggestion #4.
My final suggestion is for me to get to work because I'm now on the clock and doing nothing but fooling around.
Today I get a chance to discuss with the Senior Management Team my thoughts on the current financial team structure and how I think it may be improved. The Senior Management Team then has one week to come up with a proposal to the Dean after which there will be one month to draw up the plans for implementation followed by one month of moving everyone around to be finished in time for jingle bells and fruit cake. I had gotten word yesterday from someone who's already had their meeting that people are actually taking notes. I'm really not trying to sound sarcastic, but for the last three years, during any type of "tell us your thoughts" meeting, no one has ever taken notes. They would nod their heads sympathetically and say things like "I completely understand" and "Oh, that's a good suggestion" but no one ever wrote anything down. My suggestion is to give me more money. I think that'll solve everything. Massage Friday's is going to be another suggestion.
While I'm at it, I'd also like to suggest that a new department of Auto Mechanics be formed so that I could bring my car in and not miss any work at the same time. My blinkers still don't work and it's getting colder which makes sticking my arm out the window even more irritating.
I'm suggesting that someone go to my home and brush Delta Force Cat because he's getting mats and I don't have time to attend to them.
Suggestion #5 is that we develop the Teleport machine. Walking across campus is getting irritating now with students on bikes. Did you know that there's actually a rule against riding your bike on campus? It's true. You're supposed to get off and walk it through busy sidewalks. It's also true that the U of M Police force has a unit on bikes.
Suggestion #6 is for whomever is going to go to my house and brush Delta Force Cat to also flip my mattress...same reason as suggestion #4.
My final suggestion is for me to get to work because I'm now on the clock and doing nothing but fooling around.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Hump Weekend
I'm over the hump now, it's all downhill from here. This last weekend was the midpoint of the season, kind of like Wednesdays are for the week. Friday night I was thinking about how nice it would be to sleep in a little, wear fuzzy pj's and watch a movie. Boy am I glad I didn't go that route.
There's a new choreography added to the opening gate songs. At the point where there's the instrumental section, the "band" has started raising their hands to the beat and then waving them in the air. I realize that this does not sound all that exciting but when you put the movements to the music and add the rest of the cast up on the bridge and performers scattered in the audience to it, it becomes a "Radio Ga-Ga" moment from an '80's Queen concert. If you were to replace people with muppets at an '80's Queen concert complete with the muppet sway and muppet wild-abandon glee, then you'd have the new opening gate sequence. I was standing in the middle of it at one point and it made me so giddy I started giggling and couldn't stop.
My mom came to the wine show on Saturday and I originally thought I was going to be okay with it but I ended up preoccupied the entire show with keeping tabs on where she was and if her stupid camera was up to her face. It made me edgy. Luckily, we had a great audience on both days that contained willing participants for Tawn's whipping segment. I'm always amazed at what women are willing to put in their mouths for a man who's holding a whip.
Mom then went down and took in a viewing of my fight scene. Jib, the pirate, started talking to her before things started and apparently my mom is now employing the hard sell in an attempt to get me hitched. Jib told her that he's my sometimes-boyfriend (don't worry, I'll get him for that) which was the only prompt she needed to launch into an infomercial on some of my finer points like how nice and caring and thoughtful I am...I have no idea where she's getting this crap, she must be desperate for more grandkids.
Both days were once again filled with tons of wonderful moments with patrons and sometimes I'm so frickin' happy to be out there that I think I'm going to explode...or tackle someone...which happened. I'm spending the week practicing my patented figure-four-leg-lock-toe-bite move then no one's getting out alive. All I need is a top rope and a manager to throw over it. Then I'll need to pick my entrance song, maybe Elton John's "The Bitch is Back"...'cause I'm better than you.
During the drive home on Sunday, while waving my arms in the air like a muppet (it's very addictive), I decided that tying on shoes that hurt my feet and putting on bloomers with holes in them is way better than watching a movie in fuzzy pjs. Most Wednesdays don't end like that.
There's a new choreography added to the opening gate songs. At the point where there's the instrumental section, the "band" has started raising their hands to the beat and then waving them in the air. I realize that this does not sound all that exciting but when you put the movements to the music and add the rest of the cast up on the bridge and performers scattered in the audience to it, it becomes a "Radio Ga-Ga" moment from an '80's Queen concert. If you were to replace people with muppets at an '80's Queen concert complete with the muppet sway and muppet wild-abandon glee, then you'd have the new opening gate sequence. I was standing in the middle of it at one point and it made me so giddy I started giggling and couldn't stop.
My mom came to the wine show on Saturday and I originally thought I was going to be okay with it but I ended up preoccupied the entire show with keeping tabs on where she was and if her stupid camera was up to her face. It made me edgy. Luckily, we had a great audience on both days that contained willing participants for Tawn's whipping segment. I'm always amazed at what women are willing to put in their mouths for a man who's holding a whip.
Mom then went down and took in a viewing of my fight scene. Jib, the pirate, started talking to her before things started and apparently my mom is now employing the hard sell in an attempt to get me hitched. Jib told her that he's my sometimes-boyfriend (don't worry, I'll get him for that) which was the only prompt she needed to launch into an infomercial on some of my finer points like how nice and caring and thoughtful I am...I have no idea where she's getting this crap, she must be desperate for more grandkids.
Both days were once again filled with tons of wonderful moments with patrons and sometimes I'm so frickin' happy to be out there that I think I'm going to explode...or tackle someone...which happened. I'm spending the week practicing my patented figure-four-leg-lock-toe-bite move then no one's getting out alive. All I need is a top rope and a manager to throw over it. Then I'll need to pick my entrance song, maybe Elton John's "The Bitch is Back"...'cause I'm better than you.
During the drive home on Sunday, while waving my arms in the air like a muppet (it's very addictive), I decided that tying on shoes that hurt my feet and putting on bloomers with holes in them is way better than watching a movie in fuzzy pjs. Most Wednesdays don't end like that.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Blah
I hate talking about politics so thank goodness that BLADE RUNNER WAS ON LAST NIGHT!!! Woohoo! I was all set to do my civic duty and listen to the presidential candidate but, sorry, Blade Runner was on. You understand, don't you?
It's too bad I didn't listen to the speeches last night because now I don't have much to write about. In fact, I'm kind of bored. The boredom has turned me into a lazy speller too, I just had to go up and correct the word 'speeches' in the first sentence because I forgot the 'e' at the end.
Summer has officially ended because Caribou is now offering it's pumpkin drinks. I also saw a holiday commercial last week. I can't remember what store it was for but there were definite snow flakes across the screen and jingle bells for music. For the third year in a row, the budget remains tight so this year, you'd be best off to expect a hearty handshake and a pat on the back from me. All the intentions are still there, there's just no wrapping paper. I guess I could wrap my hand.
Wow, I am bored. I'm getting absolutely nothing out of this coffee. I hope I haven't reached some type of plateau where I'll either need to drink more or stop entirely. But pumpkin season is here, how can I stop now? It can't be done.
Hopefully something inspiring will come to me later today because right now....nothing.
It's too bad I didn't listen to the speeches last night because now I don't have much to write about. In fact, I'm kind of bored. The boredom has turned me into a lazy speller too, I just had to go up and correct the word 'speeches' in the first sentence because I forgot the 'e' at the end.
Summer has officially ended because Caribou is now offering it's pumpkin drinks. I also saw a holiday commercial last week. I can't remember what store it was for but there were definite snow flakes across the screen and jingle bells for music. For the third year in a row, the budget remains tight so this year, you'd be best off to expect a hearty handshake and a pat on the back from me. All the intentions are still there, there's just no wrapping paper. I guess I could wrap my hand.
Wow, I am bored. I'm getting absolutely nothing out of this coffee. I hope I haven't reached some type of plateau where I'll either need to drink more or stop entirely. But pumpkin season is here, how can I stop now? It can't be done.
Hopefully something inspiring will come to me later today because right now....nothing.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Thursday already??
I hate talking about politics but I'm just going to say that if I hear that stupid hockey mom lipstick "joke" again, I'm going to punch the nearest human being. You know what else is different between pitbulls and hockey mom's? Pitbulls don't hang out at the hotel pool getting drunk while their little shits run around the hallways leaning over the railings spitting down on the front desk clerks. That's another big difference.
So the 11th cycle of America's Next Top Model started last night and like a mindless drone, I tuned in. There is an interviewing process in the beginning to whittle the 30-some contestants down to 20 first before ending at the final 13. It's apparent that the hopeful models complete a bio before they are interviewed unless Tyra has garnered the powers of clairvoyance in which case she could claim the $2 million dollar James Randi prize. Tyra loves to bring up the obscure little fact, or even better the most painful little fact on the bio and make the hopeful model pour her guts out or defend herself. One of last night's tests was with a model who had just graduated from Harvard with a degree in English Literature. Tyra decides to barrage her with a list of strong women characters in English literature while the model poses as if she was that character. Let's review; Tyra has a list of strong women characters which she recites at lightning speed while the poor nervous wreck of a hopeful model tries to catch up and follow along. The model is left looking like she knows nothing about her own degree while Tyra sits with a self-righteous glow after defeating the educated woman with help from her staff whom she's probably had google a list of strong women characters in English literature before the interview began. Go Tyra.
Let's see, what else can I pick on today? I could pick on my cat, he fell off of the table this morning.
Tonight will be landscape night as I try to mow the lawn and pull the weeds that have overtaken my sidewalk. I was just offered a ton of day lilies from a co-worker. My plan is to fill in the small strips of ground in back of the garage and the north side of the house so I don't have the burden of remembering to mow them. I always forget. I will work hard tonight so I can be lazy in the future. I like being lazy. It's relaxing.
My mother might be coming out to fest on Saturday and she'll want to see the wine show. I apologize now for the complete wreck I'll be on Saturday until she leaves. My brow is furrowing just thinking about it.
That is all.
So the 11th cycle of America's Next Top Model started last night and like a mindless drone, I tuned in. There is an interviewing process in the beginning to whittle the 30-some contestants down to 20 first before ending at the final 13. It's apparent that the hopeful models complete a bio before they are interviewed unless Tyra has garnered the powers of clairvoyance in which case she could claim the $2 million dollar James Randi prize. Tyra loves to bring up the obscure little fact, or even better the most painful little fact on the bio and make the hopeful model pour her guts out or defend herself. One of last night's tests was with a model who had just graduated from Harvard with a degree in English Literature. Tyra decides to barrage her with a list of strong women characters in English literature while the model poses as if she was that character. Let's review; Tyra has a list of strong women characters which she recites at lightning speed while the poor nervous wreck of a hopeful model tries to catch up and follow along. The model is left looking like she knows nothing about her own degree while Tyra sits with a self-righteous glow after defeating the educated woman with help from her staff whom she's probably had google a list of strong women characters in English literature before the interview began. Go Tyra.
Let's see, what else can I pick on today? I could pick on my cat, he fell off of the table this morning.
Tonight will be landscape night as I try to mow the lawn and pull the weeds that have overtaken my sidewalk. I was just offered a ton of day lilies from a co-worker. My plan is to fill in the small strips of ground in back of the garage and the north side of the house so I don't have the burden of remembering to mow them. I always forget. I will work hard tonight so I can be lazy in the future. I like being lazy. It's relaxing.
My mother might be coming out to fest on Saturday and she'll want to see the wine show. I apologize now for the complete wreck I'll be on Saturday until she leaves. My brow is furrowing just thinking about it.
That is all.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Longest-weekend-known-to-man blog
I hate talking about politics so instead, I'll take a moment to pick on an easy target, Michele Bachmann. I caught her attempt at a speech last night at the RNC and found myself tensing up during the whole thing. No one was really watching or listening...or clapping. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. It was like the slow song during the rock concert when everyone goes to take a leak. The camera men didn't pan out into the audience much because too many people were milling around. I do hand it to her though for ending up on the correct side of the river. Thank goodness her driver was on top of it.
Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the 3rd weekend review. It began with the longest cast call known to man and was quickly followed by the gigantic collapse of Linda's skeletal/muscular system when one side of her rib cage decided to take a left turn at Albuquerque and the other side didn't follow all while staying connected to her spinal cord which made her face contort and her breath stop while I stood and watched. I was waiting for the alien baby to pop out of her stomach. While I'm making the poor decision to make light of the situation, it provided a glowing example of why we're all there.
There never seemed to be the question of whether the show would go on, only the question of how we would change our original plans to fit the situation so the show would go on. That's right, we left Linda behind to shake involuntarily as her body went through shock like she was the skinny nerd who falls off of the white water raft at summer camp. No, I jest.
There were two chiropractors, two massage therapists and one shaman/snake dancer on regular rotation through the Tea House not to mention a hand full of worried cohorts like me. If I were in her position, I wouldn't have wanted to go home either. When you feel the worst, you want to be around people that make you feel the best.
Say what you will about Fitz, he did work for at least three hours, okay two hours, out of the weekend by stepping in at the wine show. Many people were willing to come in and help; Matt, Greta, Brian, Penn, Erin, Judy, D'Lis, and Hawkins. Poor Hawkins, he volunteered to stand at the back of the table containing the drunken wedding party of the bride who was left at the altar, or the bride who may have made the whole thing up to get drunk, we're still not sure. It was rough but everyone came out alive.
Some nicer moments were found at breakfast discussing Shakespeare and Machiavelli, at the Saturday night bbq where I got a chance to talk to people the way I always want to on the street but can't (stupid performance expectations), and the dozens of patron exchanges all of which surprised me in how they proceeded and ended and all of which left me happy.
Quite often, the faire is seen as a place of not-too-high-brow entertainment and perhaps lacking a certain level of intelligence, but it's similar to public education; the intelligence is there, you just have to search harder to find it. If you haven't been roped in yet by the Stones (not Mick and Keith but Jim and his wife) then brush up on your Shakespearean quotes because you're not allowed to leave the roped circle until you recite one. As an innocent bystander, don't pass judgement on whether the particular patron will be able to complete the task or not based on looks or accent, you'll end up being dead wrong. I love the patrons out there. They will surprise you every time.
I also learned a slew of new knock knock jokes.
So to recap: 3rd weekend start - frightening and discombobulated; end - enlightening, exhausted, and very appreciative.
Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the 3rd weekend review. It began with the longest cast call known to man and was quickly followed by the gigantic collapse of Linda's skeletal/muscular system when one side of her rib cage decided to take a left turn at Albuquerque and the other side didn't follow all while staying connected to her spinal cord which made her face contort and her breath stop while I stood and watched. I was waiting for the alien baby to pop out of her stomach. While I'm making the poor decision to make light of the situation, it provided a glowing example of why we're all there.
There never seemed to be the question of whether the show would go on, only the question of how we would change our original plans to fit the situation so the show would go on. That's right, we left Linda behind to shake involuntarily as her body went through shock like she was the skinny nerd who falls off of the white water raft at summer camp. No, I jest.
There were two chiropractors, two massage therapists and one shaman/snake dancer on regular rotation through the Tea House not to mention a hand full of worried cohorts like me. If I were in her position, I wouldn't have wanted to go home either. When you feel the worst, you want to be around people that make you feel the best.
Say what you will about Fitz, he did work for at least three hours, okay two hours, out of the weekend by stepping in at the wine show. Many people were willing to come in and help; Matt, Greta, Brian, Penn, Erin, Judy, D'Lis, and Hawkins. Poor Hawkins, he volunteered to stand at the back of the table containing the drunken wedding party of the bride who was left at the altar, or the bride who may have made the whole thing up to get drunk, we're still not sure. It was rough but everyone came out alive.
Some nicer moments were found at breakfast discussing Shakespeare and Machiavelli, at the Saturday night bbq where I got a chance to talk to people the way I always want to on the street but can't (stupid performance expectations), and the dozens of patron exchanges all of which surprised me in how they proceeded and ended and all of which left me happy.
Quite often, the faire is seen as a place of not-too-high-brow entertainment and perhaps lacking a certain level of intelligence, but it's similar to public education; the intelligence is there, you just have to search harder to find it. If you haven't been roped in yet by the Stones (not Mick and Keith but Jim and his wife) then brush up on your Shakespearean quotes because you're not allowed to leave the roped circle until you recite one. As an innocent bystander, don't pass judgement on whether the particular patron will be able to complete the task or not based on looks or accent, you'll end up being dead wrong. I love the patrons out there. They will surprise you every time.
I also learned a slew of new knock knock jokes.
So to recap: 3rd weekend start - frightening and discombobulated; end - enlightening, exhausted, and very appreciative.
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