So A Rabbi Walks Into A Bar....

I hate to talk about politics BUT.....did you catch the Alfred E. Smith charity event last night on C-SPAN (and partially on CNN but with screen shots of Bill Maher and Larry King)? I've never heard of this before. Apparently the descendants of Alfred E. Smith who was governor of New York and the first catholic presidential nominee in 1928 have held a big-ass dinner inviting all of the cool people and a bishop and put it on TV. McCain and Obama were together wearing the same type of tux (how embarrassing!) and both recited a medium-length "humorous" monologue. Oh, and the event allegedly raised 2.5 million for catholic causes...like banning gay marriage, banning gays, banning free thought and promoting guilt.

I only caught the last part of McCain's performance. I tried to pay attention but the old man sitting behind him distracted me with his constant eating. I don't know who this man was but he was clearly not impressed with the floor show. He never laughed, chuckled, guffawed, popped his shoulders, smirked, nothing. He just kept filling his pie-hole with, well, probably pie. AND he chewed with his mouth open. That was the intriguing part. This man is important enough to be seated in a very strategic seat at possibly one of the most self-gratifying "charity" events but he can't even chew with his mouth closed. Maybe no one will say anything to him because they figure now that he's 100 years old, he can do whatever he wants. My 92-year old grandmother used to fart a lot towards the end of her life. She stopped caring whether anyone would mind. Although she still hid her gin and crackers in a closet.

Out of the two, I'd have to say that McCain had better delivery. Obama seemed like he really didn't want to read much of what was in front of him. He didn't read through it much beforehand but then again, maybe it was still going through revision before his turn at the mic. He did have a great zinger though when he made fun of Rudolph Guliani's makeup-wearing escapades and turned to McCain and said "Gee John, heck of a primary you had there!" There were actually a few boo's in response to this but I thought it was funny. I bet on the inside, McCain thought it was funny too.

Hilary was there but Bill wasn't. The place would probably burn down if Bill Clinton showed up to anything associated with catholicism. The big name TV hoo-ha's were there too like Katie Couric and what's-his-face from NBC. Dark-haired guy, you know the one. Interesting gathering of people all in one place. I wonder what the security was like. If that room blew up, we'd be without a large majority of leaders and no one to tell us about it.

So the weekend is here. Do you have your pumpkin yet? I don't. I'm going to get one this year. I didn't last year and I believe that was the reason I didn't get one goddamn kid at my door demanding candy. Since I no longer have broadleaf trees in my yard, I'll have to go scrounging for leaves to cover my gardens up with. I may even have to go down to the river road and rake the boulevard. I'll do it at night so no one sees me.

The Dregs have their CD release party Saturday night at Tillie's Bean. Show up, they're awesome.