Stop waving that stupid flag, he's only swimming!

I'm just not into the whole Olympics thing this go-around. I want to be really happy for Michael Phelps but there's just something that's preventing me from doing so. I'm not exactly sure what it is. I saw him win one of a gazillion medals and break yet another world's record Tuesday night and he didn't look happy. He actually looked a little upset about it. Perhaps if he felt he didn't do a good job he should have tried to trade for the bronze. NBC aired a little segment on Phelps calling him the best athlete in Olympic history, or something very close to that phrase (sorry, I can't remember verbatim). It may be that he's won the most gold metals (has he? I haven't kept track) but would that automatically make him the best athlete? There are too many different kinds of sporting events and I don't know that you can compare all of them and come up with one best athlete.

I would now like to take this time to rail on the state of Olympic gymnastics. These stunted little beings are having cameras shoved in their faces during the times when they are trying to concentrate the most or need just one fucking moment to get over their last performance. This much airtime is also turning the coaches into a bunch of Norma Desmonds who are willing to push their own progeny out of the way of their camera shot. I want normal girls back like Olga Korbut and Ludmilla Tourischeva who actually had personality. They displayed normal emotions such as happiness, anger, arrogance and sadness all at one time just like any other teenage girl...you know, normal. All I see now is the same panic-deer-in-headlights look - oh, I'm sorry, I mean that intense look of determination and drive to win, yeah, whatever. Maybe they should stop pulling their hair back so tight. And what's with all the glitter makeup???!!! There's no makeup in gymnastics!!! We used to get points taken off in high school for that!!! No makeup in gymnastics!!! And don't stand there for so frickin' long in the corner of the mat trying to amp yourself up for that next big pass on the floor. There's music on, move to it. It's called choreography. Try it, you'll like it. Okay, I'm done with that.

What else is in the news? Let's see. Oh! The heart-transplant guy who tried to murder a stranger for his heart. There's an interesting twist. Usually transplant patients are on the top of any "I feel sorry for you, here, take my seat" list. This guy is going to ruin it for all the other transplant patients. I for one plan on making sure my address isn't visible to any patient awaiting a liver, kidney, heart, lung, or eye transplant. Any other body part I'd probably be willing to negotiate on.