Balancing Act

This is hard. I'm trying to balance out again. I feel like a ping pong ball right now; bouncing between extremes. Maybe that's normal. It'd be nice to be normal. How do you know if you are? There should be some kind of checklist. A therapist probably has a checklist.

Last winter, I decided it would be very good for me to see a therapist so I started looking into it. I should have just called the first name on the provider list instead of "looking into it". With my tendencies to go overboard, my looking into it prevented me from ever choosing one.

I first looked into one "crises center' option for U of M staff and students but all of their newsletters came with a list of symptoms of which possession of a few would indicate that you may be clinically depressed which they would then send you to your MD for medication. I don't want medication. I then turned to the mental/behavioral health providers in my health insurance plan but I stopped looking into it. I can't remember why. Something else must have distracted me.

Okay, here's an annoying habit for you and perhaps a few of you share this. I have music or some noise on 90% of the time I'm awake. Now, of course when I'm awake, I also tend to think deep thoughts much like Jack Handy back when SNL was funny. This combination can sometimes lead to song lyrics breaking into my deep thoughts and that song then serves to remind me of that deep thought whenever I hear it much like these lyrics just did:
"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am". The most annoying thing is I don't even like this song.

Why do cats have to chew pens? What is it about writing implements that drive cats to put their mouths on it? Whenever I've pulled a pen out and there's a cat in the vicinity, it's mouth and/or paw ends up affecting my cursive. I bring this up now because I've just spent the last few moments trying to shush away my cat with the very object that's driving his obsession. Here's another thing; try to hold a pen and not point with it. It's hard.