Here I am with 9 minutes to go before official start-time to my work day but I have a lot to type out about this weekend so I guess I'm going to be late. Yes, I know where my priorities are.
If you weren't able to attend the 2nd annual Twin Cities Improv Festival this weekend, don't worry - you have about 350 days until the next one. While I missed the first night, I made up for it over the next three nights by catching three shows on Friday, one workshop and one show on Saturday, then wrapping it up with the last show on Sunday.
I signed up for the Beginning Improv workshop with Charna Halpern and went through the usual schitzo thoughts beforehand only this time I wrote them down for your reading pleasure.
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Saturday, June 28th - before workshop:
I spent the morning going back and forth again. I then decided to shift into auto pilot and just go. I am now a robot: up...shower...makeup...cat food & water level check (good)...leave windows open which will facilitate the flooding of water into may abode later on when it rains...get into car...push button..reverse, now forward...park...order...write...eat. See? Easy when you do it his way.
Pretty soon the time will just fly and before I know it, it'll be over and I can go home. I left early thinking that with Pride and all, I'd have difficulty parking but this has also allowed me to get a breakfast that someone else prepares for me and also gives me time to second-guess myself.
I can still decide to turn and run the other way. Then I picture Jill Bernard getting mad at me and I get scared. I also picture Butch doing his purse-lips/turn-head/show-disappointment-in-eyes that makes me feel like a real idiot and I hate that feeling so I think I've successfully guilted myself into going. That and reminding myself of the times I've wussed out in the past: there was the time John Haynes taught the mini-course (5 sessions) at the U of M which I paid for but then never went; the time Jenzie and Brian Kisch were auditioning for classes and which I again had contacted John Haynes about trying out for also but...guess what...never went, and then the half-assed attempt at completing the Sketch Writing class but that was more than half-assed, it was more like three-quarters assed because I missed only two classes out of eight because I started to get scared of reading my stuff out loud. There is the very real factor of lack of funds to take a lot of these classes but I know my spending habits - if I really wanted to do it, I'd be okay with being poorer.
The guilt is creeping back up again. These festival people have worked hard to get Charna here and what if I took the spot of someone else who really wanted to get in and is going to be the next John Belushi and by ducking out, I'm ruining several people's days and possibly lives? That's a pretty good guilt trip.
So now it's 11am and I'm stuffed to the gills with food. I hope that doesn't turn out to be a big mistake. I wanna go home. I have to mow my lawn. I have to work on my bodice. I've been too taxed lately. I need to rest. Okay, now I'm seriously nervous. I can feel that familiar butterfly effect in my stomach, I hope the hash browns stay down. I want to go home and read Zora Hurston. Other people are walking by and looking all relaxed in sweats carrying coffee like a usual Saturday morning and I'm obsessing in my car listening to Freddie Mercury and David Bowie sing about pressure...are they mocking me?
11:20am...ugh, I want to throw up, it'll make my stomach feel better but I'll have bad breath. The butterflies are moving up my esophagus to my throat. If you let me go home now, I'll promise to practice belly dancing all day, I'll finish my cudgel and I'll call my mom, I promise, really. I'll rollerblade everywhere, anything to get out of getting out of the car in 10 more minutes.
See, this is why I can't take a 10-week session, I can't go through this every week, I'll get an ulcer. I need to do my nail, I need to wash my windows. I just need to look at it like tattooing, just think about how happy I'll be when it's over and I'll get some ice cream. Here I go.
Saturday, June 28th - after:
I don't feel like ice cream but I'm still glad it's over. I got a lot of great information out of it and a reminder that I have extreme stage fright. It's the actual, physical stage that I'm scared of. Being up higher than everyone, in the middle, with the light on me...terrifying. The Ren Faire is totally different. It's much easier to be in among the crowd. I know people say that the whole place is a stage and in a sense it is, but I have confidence with a group of people around me. I don't want to be above them, I want to be in with them. I'm also in garb which makes me into a different person. When patrons see me, they don't really have a specific expectation, they expect the unexpected. When wearing my usual clothes and being me, people expect certain things which I have had some trouble reconciling for many years now.
I know that I didn't perform well but I knew that going in. My goal in taking the workshop was to get a better understanding of the mechanics, how things the individuals do can all be woven together. Charna was good with a lot of things like talking fast but especially honing in on the source of the problems. I had a scene where me and my partner were supposed to be landing on a new planet but only one person could be the first one out and we were to decide who that would be. There was the point where my partner was going to let me be the first one out but I wasn't going out the door. For some reason I thought that it wasn't the right thing to do because then everything would end. Charna stopped me and said "you're afraid to move forward". Now I found this to be profound because she could have said the more obvious "you're afraid to go out of the door" but she broadened it to "moving forward". I realized that yes, I do that all the fucking time. Moving forward can sometimes really suck. It's not that I want order or control so much, I just want something I can count on for a few months. No more bad surprises, sudden changes, leaves of absence, strategic positioning...just set some goals and/or point in the future and let me enjoy each moment as it is instead of worrying about when the other shoe is going to drop.
I now have some points in the future, specifically The Onion Writers show I'm seeing next and then the party at CC's where I will imbibe in a refreshment or two...as long as I don't have to go on stage to get it.
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While there were many parts to enjoy and a few to freak out over, the most enjoyable was a moment on Saturday early evening, around 5:30pm. I came back from eating after the workshop and just chilled in the BNW lobby with some popcorn, sitting on the cushy bench watching people mill around. It had stopped raining and the sun was shining through the front windows. There weren't a lot of people around which was kind of nice because things were sedate, like the calm before the next storm. As I looked around I thought about how fucking amazing it was that someone would conceive the idea for a whole extended weekend of stuff at a cool location, invite some really talented people who responded and showed up, a great audience also showed up, and it all came together. Of course, the way I just said it makes it sound easy which I know it wasn't. At times, seeing the BNW/TCIF crew at work was like watching an ant farm. Everyone knew what to do and where they were supposed to be, went there and directed all of us other ants as to where to go, where to line up, and oh, here's your drink.
Only some 350 days or so to go until the next ant farm.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
T.G.I.F.
I have to come up with a new sleeping plan. It's no longer enough to just close my eyes and remain still. I love having my windows open but it doesn't do any good if there isn't any breeze or if your neighbors come home at 1:30am and bring a herd of elephants with them.
I had troubles sleeping again last night and it may be part due to the coffee I consumed at 5:00pm. On the good side, it was the best iced mocha ever made in the universe; on the bad side, I believe it played a part in keeping me awake. I drank it in the first place because I yawned four times within fifteen minutes before my fight practice. Since I prefer to be alert during those types of activities, I purchased the caffeine. I can now feel myself within the grips of an addictive spiral which requires me to have coffee to stay awake but I don't get to control how long that is so I don't sleep when I want to and get tired when I don't want to after which I need coffee to wake me back up again and...see the quandary? If that's the only thing I have to complain about then I'm doing pretty good.
I could complain about more but then I would just have to remind myself to not get caught up in other people's stress that they've created for themselves that really doesn't have anything to do with me. The thing about jobs is to keep in mind that if something doesn't get done, it's not the end of the world. I forget that sometimes and then various work-related items creep into my mind at night also preventing me from sleeping.
What's great about today is that it's my Friday. Woo hoo. I have to take my personal day before June 30th or it's taken away from me so...if I have to, I have to...or the world will end.
I had troubles sleeping again last night and it may be part due to the coffee I consumed at 5:00pm. On the good side, it was the best iced mocha ever made in the universe; on the bad side, I believe it played a part in keeping me awake. I drank it in the first place because I yawned four times within fifteen minutes before my fight practice. Since I prefer to be alert during those types of activities, I purchased the caffeine. I can now feel myself within the grips of an addictive spiral which requires me to have coffee to stay awake but I don't get to control how long that is so I don't sleep when I want to and get tired when I don't want to after which I need coffee to wake me back up again and...see the quandary? If that's the only thing I have to complain about then I'm doing pretty good.
I could complain about more but then I would just have to remind myself to not get caught up in other people's stress that they've created for themselves that really doesn't have anything to do with me. The thing about jobs is to keep in mind that if something doesn't get done, it's not the end of the world. I forget that sometimes and then various work-related items creep into my mind at night also preventing me from sleeping.
What's great about today is that it's my Friday. Woo hoo. I have to take my personal day before June 30th or it's taken away from me so...if I have to, I have to...or the world will end.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Live in the moment
I am now nice and cranky because the coffee hasn't kicked in yet which was needed because of lack of sleep due to the temperature and lack of air movement last night. It's a shame too because before that, I was in a really good mood. I watched Richard Pryor's Live on the Sunset Strip which doesn't portray Pryor has this outstanding, charismatic, high-energy performer but he's a very good storyteller none the less. His stage presence is more like what it would be if he were standing in your living room. He's also proof that some of the best humour comes from pain.
So I was downright excited about getting home yesterday after an afternoon of pouring through documents of which many had to be brought back to the originator to get information they already knew they needed to give but since they value acting as immature as possible, I get to play this game with them every now and then.
That spoiled the good mood created from the morning meeting I had with a couple of faculty and staff members from the department I service (hee hee). I absolutely LOVE being around people who deeply love what they do and have a passion to see that it's done well. One professor has been here since the early '70's and because of his elder-statesmen status, one may think that he has antiquated notions about how to best educate people. This is not the case. He was excitedly talking about how the department should utilize online technologies much more than they currently are. At first I kind of baulked at this because I've always thought that it's better to learn hands-on rather than on a model created with no unknowns in it. There's an element of unaccounted for situations or maybe even chaos, that I don't think can be built into a computer program. Then again, I'm not a computer programmer so I could be way off about that. I was then reminded of my physics labs. The Physics 101 experiments we were doing with wind shear and friction never worked the way they were supposed to because of faulty equipment so we would end up drawing how it was supposed to work out on the board. May as well replace the board with a 3-D computer model which is much easier to understand. The meeting was a much needed shot of optimism after two years of hearing nothing but negativity about the future.
Before that I used to be excited about coming to work because it was nice to get back to a regular day-shift schedule after years of working the night shift which lead to my love of the song "Night Shift" and a tendency to break into a Temptations dance sequence although the song was by the Commodores. But what did I really know about music, before that I was one of the only headbangers at UMD where my roommate and I covered every inch of our dorm room with pictures of long-haired guys, some that were prettier than us.
Those pictures were quite a switch from my childhood bedroom where I had one poster of Madonna when she did Desperately Seeking Susan and one poster of Van Halen, the black and white one where David Lee Roth looks really hot and not crazy like he would eventually turn out but what kid can ever picture that happening to their idols? At that point, I was just happy to have my own bedroom after my brother was moved upstairs and one might think that I would be jealous of the fact that he got the whole upstairs while I got a small, 8x8 room but I really liked that room because it had two windows and there was a small section right next to one of the window sills where you could see all the different layers of paint that had covered the walls. The first color I could see was yellow, then coral, then pink, then blue.
I hate yellow now but I probably didn't really notice it when I was in the crib in that room since I had other mobiles to look at which was better than looking at the inside of a womb, but I really don't remember that.
So I was downright excited about getting home yesterday after an afternoon of pouring through documents of which many had to be brought back to the originator to get information they already knew they needed to give but since they value acting as immature as possible, I get to play this game with them every now and then.
That spoiled the good mood created from the morning meeting I had with a couple of faculty and staff members from the department I service (hee hee). I absolutely LOVE being around people who deeply love what they do and have a passion to see that it's done well. One professor has been here since the early '70's and because of his elder-statesmen status, one may think that he has antiquated notions about how to best educate people. This is not the case. He was excitedly talking about how the department should utilize online technologies much more than they currently are. At first I kind of baulked at this because I've always thought that it's better to learn hands-on rather than on a model created with no unknowns in it. There's an element of unaccounted for situations or maybe even chaos, that I don't think can be built into a computer program. Then again, I'm not a computer programmer so I could be way off about that. I was then reminded of my physics labs. The Physics 101 experiments we were doing with wind shear and friction never worked the way they were supposed to because of faulty equipment so we would end up drawing how it was supposed to work out on the board. May as well replace the board with a 3-D computer model which is much easier to understand. The meeting was a much needed shot of optimism after two years of hearing nothing but negativity about the future.
Before that I used to be excited about coming to work because it was nice to get back to a regular day-shift schedule after years of working the night shift which lead to my love of the song "Night Shift" and a tendency to break into a Temptations dance sequence although the song was by the Commodores. But what did I really know about music, before that I was one of the only headbangers at UMD where my roommate and I covered every inch of our dorm room with pictures of long-haired guys, some that were prettier than us.
Those pictures were quite a switch from my childhood bedroom where I had one poster of Madonna when she did Desperately Seeking Susan and one poster of Van Halen, the black and white one where David Lee Roth looks really hot and not crazy like he would eventually turn out but what kid can ever picture that happening to their idols? At that point, I was just happy to have my own bedroom after my brother was moved upstairs and one might think that I would be jealous of the fact that he got the whole upstairs while I got a small, 8x8 room but I really liked that room because it had two windows and there was a small section right next to one of the window sills where you could see all the different layers of paint that had covered the walls. The first color I could see was yellow, then coral, then pink, then blue.
I hate yellow now but I probably didn't really notice it when I was in the crib in that room since I had other mobiles to look at which was better than looking at the inside of a womb, but I really don't remember that.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Anything to get away from not doing what I have to
I think there may actually be some real heat coming our way. I've got to get to Target and buy that kiddie pool.
Does anyone know if you absolutely have to dig up gladiolus bulbs in the fall or can they stay in the ground permanently? The package said I should dig them up but there's 30 of them, I'm lazy, I don't want to...can I get out of it?
Does anyone know of a good house painter? I want to hire someone to restain my house in the fall because I want it done well therefore I'm taking myself off of the list of painters.
Does anyone know where I can get some more cash to pay for a house painter in the fall?
I wonder what would happen to the economy if Caribou were to offer free drinks all day. Productivity would increase but resources would be diminished at the same time...it's a crap shoot.
Is it really expensive to get lasers installed around your windows? I want to keep my windows open all the time during the summer but I don't want uninvited people inside my abode. I figured laser beams would discourage them from entry.
Avoidance is an art form and I have mastered it.
Does anyone know if you absolutely have to dig up gladiolus bulbs in the fall or can they stay in the ground permanently? The package said I should dig them up but there's 30 of them, I'm lazy, I don't want to...can I get out of it?
Does anyone know of a good house painter? I want to hire someone to restain my house in the fall because I want it done well therefore I'm taking myself off of the list of painters.
Does anyone know where I can get some more cash to pay for a house painter in the fall?
I wonder what would happen to the economy if Caribou were to offer free drinks all day. Productivity would increase but resources would be diminished at the same time...it's a crap shoot.
Is it really expensive to get lasers installed around your windows? I want to keep my windows open all the time during the summer but I don't want uninvited people inside my abode. I figured laser beams would discourage them from entry.
Avoidance is an art form and I have mastered it.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Fire! Fire! Fire!
I am officially sick of people, when they find out that I perform at the Renaissance, ask if I a) know a psychic and b) want to be in a threesome. What the hell is wrong with you people?
I lit the inaugural fire last night and broke my fire pit in. It works wonderfully. I will always marvel at how cool it is to have a campfire-type fire in the middle of the city. I said campfire-type to distinguish it from the common housefire-type found so often in the city.
I missed IAGG last night which I was going back and forth on for awhile because of the previously-mentioned fire but also because I was forced to put in a tape yesterday because there is absolutely NOTHING on TV on Sunday's anymore. The tape of choice was my collection of Cirque du Soleil shows. That always sparks my imagination and last night was no exception. I kind of got "in the zone" and didn't want to stop to go somewhere else. Besides, I'm going to be at the Brave New Workshop all weekend next weekend for the much anticipated Twin Cities Improv Festival and I didn't want to wear out my welcome. I think some people there are already sick of seeing me...sorry, it's only going to get worse. I would like all meals and phone calls forwarded to the Brave New Workshop...thank you.
In just a short while, I will be off to a different office location in an attempt to help cover for a Dept. Admin that's out of commission. This woman had so much information in her brain that it is taking at least four people to cover for her. This is exactly why I believe in not only learning, but especially teaching as much as you know to others. Don't hog all the information, it'll only drive you crazy after which your FMLA leave will drive everyone else crazy. The main reason I'm dreading this is because of the current financial team model we've been operating under for the last two years. Technically, the financial team is considered to be part of the Dean's Office and therefore not belonging to any particular department. Instead, we work for, or service (a term I can't say without giggling) the departments. The problem with this model is that in order to give good service (hee hee) you have to know about the entire department because everything is interrelated. What this has led to is the development of a split personality. I'm not sure where or to whom I should be reporting to. If people like what I say, then they consider me to be part of them. If the don't like what I say, then I'm on the other team and therefore, against them. I'm now creating my own team. It's team "leave me the fuck alone so I can get this work done for you". I think it has a nice ring to it but it's going to be difficult to fit on a T-shirt.
I lit the inaugural fire last night and broke my fire pit in. It works wonderfully. I will always marvel at how cool it is to have a campfire-type fire in the middle of the city. I said campfire-type to distinguish it from the common housefire-type found so often in the city.
I missed IAGG last night which I was going back and forth on for awhile because of the previously-mentioned fire but also because I was forced to put in a tape yesterday because there is absolutely NOTHING on TV on Sunday's anymore. The tape of choice was my collection of Cirque du Soleil shows. That always sparks my imagination and last night was no exception. I kind of got "in the zone" and didn't want to stop to go somewhere else. Besides, I'm going to be at the Brave New Workshop all weekend next weekend for the much anticipated Twin Cities Improv Festival and I didn't want to wear out my welcome. I think some people there are already sick of seeing me...sorry, it's only going to get worse. I would like all meals and phone calls forwarded to the Brave New Workshop...thank you.
In just a short while, I will be off to a different office location in an attempt to help cover for a Dept. Admin that's out of commission. This woman had so much information in her brain that it is taking at least four people to cover for her. This is exactly why I believe in not only learning, but especially teaching as much as you know to others. Don't hog all the information, it'll only drive you crazy after which your FMLA leave will drive everyone else crazy. The main reason I'm dreading this is because of the current financial team model we've been operating under for the last two years. Technically, the financial team is considered to be part of the Dean's Office and therefore not belonging to any particular department. Instead, we work for, or service (a term I can't say without giggling) the departments. The problem with this model is that in order to give good service (hee hee) you have to know about the entire department because everything is interrelated. What this has led to is the development of a split personality. I'm not sure where or to whom I should be reporting to. If people like what I say, then they consider me to be part of them. If the don't like what I say, then I'm on the other team and therefore, against them. I'm now creating my own team. It's team "leave me the fuck alone so I can get this work done for you". I think it has a nice ring to it but it's going to be difficult to fit on a T-shirt.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Hey Bunny, Stop Your Pounding!
Did anyone see those clouds last night? They were red. It was from 9:30 - 10:00pm when there were some stratoculumus clouds (low, puffy, round, dark-grayish, I picked the right term didn't I?) rolling in and they had a red glow to them. I know this because I was outside monitoring for bat activity. The previous night I was out testing my new umbrella's solar lights when a bat went squeaking over my head. I wanted to make sure it didn't come out of my house so I did bat patrol last night looking for anything flying out of my roof around dusk. I'm happy to report that nothing was reported.
My cute little bunny rabbits living under my deck aren't so damn cute anymore. They're making flattened circular areas in my lawn which is causing the grass to die. This is the most ridiculous looking activity, but rabbits will pound the ground with their butts in a circular pattern to mark their territory. They do it in the winter on snow also. I suppose they feel that because they're so cute they can get away with anything. Not the case with me, I'm a cold-hearted bitch. I'm putting screening up along the deck to keep them out. They've got at least three more months of nice weather to find a new abode. Get the hell out of my yard and take your urine with you.
Eight days from now I'll be sitting in some room with someone who is reported to be pretty good at teaching this whole improv thing. I'm surprised to find myself jazzed about this at this point. I predict that by 11:30am next Saturday, I will be so fucking scared that I won't have any saliva in my mouth. It appears that the Charna Halpern Beginning Improv workshop at TCIF still has spots, so come on down and watch me freak out, then stay for some shows.
Well, I'm off like a prom dress. Have a good weekend.
My cute little bunny rabbits living under my deck aren't so damn cute anymore. They're making flattened circular areas in my lawn which is causing the grass to die. This is the most ridiculous looking activity, but rabbits will pound the ground with their butts in a circular pattern to mark their territory. They do it in the winter on snow also. I suppose they feel that because they're so cute they can get away with anything. Not the case with me, I'm a cold-hearted bitch. I'm putting screening up along the deck to keep them out. They've got at least three more months of nice weather to find a new abode. Get the hell out of my yard and take your urine with you.
Eight days from now I'll be sitting in some room with someone who is reported to be pretty good at teaching this whole improv thing. I'm surprised to find myself jazzed about this at this point. I predict that by 11:30am next Saturday, I will be so fucking scared that I won't have any saliva in my mouth. It appears that the Charna Halpern Beginning Improv workshop at TCIF still has spots, so come on down and watch me freak out, then stay for some shows.
Well, I'm off like a prom dress. Have a good weekend.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Why Can't We Teleport???!!!
I want to be able to teleport. I mean I really really want to be able to teleport. It's not fair that we can't yet. Obama should add teleporting to his platform, I'd totally vote for him. When I have somewhere that I want to be, I want to get there NOW. The lines at Qdoba are taking 15 minutes to get through, I would have saved a lot of time if I could have teleported.
While in line at said eating establishment, CNN was kind enough to report the breaking news that, due to high gas prices, travel this July 4th will be down. Thank god they're on 24 hours a day because I don't think I could have made it through this next hour without knowing that gas prices are affecting things like travel. I'm waiting for them to report on the current population of the Great Northwestern Spotted Ferret Bat next. What? You don't know what the Great Northwestern Spotted Ferret Bat is? Well, go here and zip down to the middle of the page. I think I have one in my house.
Sorry folks, I guess it's a slow blogging day.
While in line at said eating establishment, CNN was kind enough to report the breaking news that, due to high gas prices, travel this July 4th will be down. Thank god they're on 24 hours a day because I don't think I could have made it through this next hour without knowing that gas prices are affecting things like travel. I'm waiting for them to report on the current population of the Great Northwestern Spotted Ferret Bat next. What? You don't know what the Great Northwestern Spotted Ferret Bat is? Well, go here and zip down to the middle of the page. I think I have one in my house.
Sorry folks, I guess it's a slow blogging day.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
AFI is just plain wrong
Don't you hate it when you just can't get over something? This "thing" has been nagging me now for a month and just when I think I'm done with it...BAM! it comes back. I hate that. I also hate the fact that nail polish chips. I pay $6 for some top notch stuff and it just chips off after a few days. I suppose I could try to do nothing with my hands but then how would I pay the mortgage?
I read through some of the AFI's top 10 movies for a few categories. I disagree with several. They've listed 2001: A Space Odyssey as #1 for Scifi. While that is a good movie to watch while your high and if you've lost your copy of Pink Floyd's The Wall, I don't think it should be #1, Alien should be #1 with Blade Runner as a close second. Both of these movies were real enough for you to imagine that those environments could be possible along with raising some great scifi questions like what's expendable and what's not, is it ethical to shoot someone in the back even though their not human yet they have human-like traits, should quarantine policies always be followed, stuff like that. I'll allow 2001 to be in the top 10, just not so close to the top. I also don't think E.T. should be considered a SciFi film. It has no scientific conflict, just a cute/ugly thing that tried to get back home. Solyent Green should have taken E.T.'s spot on the list.
AFI listed Raging Bull as the best sports movie but here I also disagree. Rocky is the best because of it's gritty realism and because Rocky didn't win. If Rocky would have won, that movie would have sucked because it would be just one more Hollywood lie about life. You don't always win. Rocky also has one of the best love scenes ever. The first kiss between Adrian and Rocky is so excruciatingly slow to arrive, you can feel Adrian's complete unwillingness to give in until the last possible moment. It's wonderful.
The Searchers is considered the best western, which may have some merit so I'll have to check it out, but until then, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is my favorite. It has great dialogue. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly wasn't on the list as I think it should be but I could see where it may be missed due to the fact that the movie is TOO DAMN LONG. Even I can't cuddle on the couch that long.
Annie Hall was listed in the romantic comedies and while I hate Diane Keaton, I had forgotten about one of the funniest lines ever delivered by Woody Allen, "My grandma didn't give gifts, she was too busy being raped by the Cossacks." Yes, this line is funny. Watch it in the movie. If you've just wrinkled your nose in disgust at that sentence, then you probably won't ever want to meet me in person. No, I don't think the act of rape is funny...wait, I've covered this before. Good thing I'm not running for public office. There are so many reasons why it's good that I'm not running for public office.
Anyhoo, it's a beautiful day. Go to the rose gardens at Lake Harriet. It'll be good for you.
I read through some of the AFI's top 10 movies for a few categories. I disagree with several. They've listed 2001: A Space Odyssey as #1 for Scifi. While that is a good movie to watch while your high and if you've lost your copy of Pink Floyd's The Wall, I don't think it should be #1, Alien should be #1 with Blade Runner as a close second. Both of these movies were real enough for you to imagine that those environments could be possible along with raising some great scifi questions like what's expendable and what's not, is it ethical to shoot someone in the back even though their not human yet they have human-like traits, should quarantine policies always be followed, stuff like that. I'll allow 2001 to be in the top 10, just not so close to the top. I also don't think E.T. should be considered a SciFi film. It has no scientific conflict, just a cute/ugly thing that tried to get back home. Solyent Green should have taken E.T.'s spot on the list.
AFI listed Raging Bull as the best sports movie but here I also disagree. Rocky is the best because of it's gritty realism and because Rocky didn't win. If Rocky would have won, that movie would have sucked because it would be just one more Hollywood lie about life. You don't always win. Rocky also has one of the best love scenes ever. The first kiss between Adrian and Rocky is so excruciatingly slow to arrive, you can feel Adrian's complete unwillingness to give in until the last possible moment. It's wonderful.
The Searchers is considered the best western, which may have some merit so I'll have to check it out, but until then, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is my favorite. It has great dialogue. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly wasn't on the list as I think it should be but I could see where it may be missed due to the fact that the movie is TOO DAMN LONG. Even I can't cuddle on the couch that long.
Annie Hall was listed in the romantic comedies and while I hate Diane Keaton, I had forgotten about one of the funniest lines ever delivered by Woody Allen, "My grandma didn't give gifts, she was too busy being raped by the Cossacks." Yes, this line is funny. Watch it in the movie. If you've just wrinkled your nose in disgust at that sentence, then you probably won't ever want to meet me in person. No, I don't think the act of rape is funny...wait, I've covered this before. Good thing I'm not running for public office. There are so many reasons why it's good that I'm not running for public office.
Anyhoo, it's a beautiful day. Go to the rose gardens at Lake Harriet. It'll be good for you.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Shhh, You Don't See Me Here
So I've completed the in-class training requirements and am now hiding in my office, wanting desperately to sneak out with the justification that the schedule said the class would go until 4pm which meant that you weren't expecting me to come back so you won't miss me now...right?
I have stumbled into a bushel of stuff that all suddenly need attention at once, all of which I am genuinely interested in doing and doing very well, and all of which demand more time than exists in this summer. This situation is compounded by people who enjoy playing games. I haven't found one work environment yet where politics doesn't slowly creep in, or quickly rush in. Through a series of other people's actions, I have found myself in the middle of a situation where the only loser could be me. In order to come out relatively unscathed, I'll need to get good quickly at reading between the lines, or guessing what someone really means.
I'm horrible at this game. I think this is why I have difficulty in the dating world. I try to state my intentions in a straight-forward manner. For instance, "do you want to come over for dinner?" actually means "would you like to come over to the geographical location of where my house is located and eat food", not "come over and you'll only see the bedroom after which I'll introduce you to my family so we can start the wedding plans and decide where we'll put the nursery." Okay, this is an extreme example stemming from the fact that I'm sensitive right now. A better example would be when I say that the policy states you cannot receive a reimbursement for an expense that does not benefit the University, I don't mean "I'm not processing your reimbursement because your not on my side." Trying to guess what people really mean is too distracting for me, I take it to extremes and come up with some guesses that are way off. This is why I really appreciate people who state exactly what they mean. This also comes from growing up in a passive/aggressive family where the only truth can be found in a brief moment of an unguarded facial expression.
So....what was my point? I don't remember anymore. I'm stuck in the "speak plainly" gear.
On another completely different note, I caught one segment of 60 Minutes this weekend which talked about how Denmark contains the happiest people on earth. Being that it was only a 20 minute segment, I feel that there were way too many factors not considered such as housing and food prices, the state of public transportation, and a few others needed before one could get an accurate picture of whether you could move to Denmark and become happy. But it did raise an interesting question of what it takes to be happy. Money didn't seem to be on the list. While 50% of Dane's incomes are taxed, they also get free health care, elder care, 6 weeks of vacation and on average, work 37 hours a week. They generally don't own big, expensive things like fancy cars or boats because they don't have a lot of disposable income left after taxes but then again, they don't seem to need it to be happy. If you don't have to worry about hospital stays or who'll take care of you when you get old, then I could see how you'd be a lot happier. I would. The main reason I want more money is to save for the day when I won't be able to work and will have to pay someone to take care of me. That and a house with an upstairs....I really want a house with more than one level. The idea of taking the stairs up to bed makes me happy. Also, the idea of carpeting the stairs and sliding down them makes me happy too.
I was thinking about what would make me happy as I was trying to scrounge my way through the weekend without going over my budget when I decided that a fire pit would really make me happy and budget be damned, I bought a fire pit. I haven't used it yet but just knowing it's there makes me happy. Now I just need to get my hands on a Korg and happiness will abound.
I have stumbled into a bushel of stuff that all suddenly need attention at once, all of which I am genuinely interested in doing and doing very well, and all of which demand more time than exists in this summer. This situation is compounded by people who enjoy playing games. I haven't found one work environment yet where politics doesn't slowly creep in, or quickly rush in. Through a series of other people's actions, I have found myself in the middle of a situation where the only loser could be me. In order to come out relatively unscathed, I'll need to get good quickly at reading between the lines, or guessing what someone really means.
I'm horrible at this game. I think this is why I have difficulty in the dating world. I try to state my intentions in a straight-forward manner. For instance, "do you want to come over for dinner?" actually means "would you like to come over to the geographical location of where my house is located and eat food", not "come over and you'll only see the bedroom after which I'll introduce you to my family so we can start the wedding plans and decide where we'll put the nursery." Okay, this is an extreme example stemming from the fact that I'm sensitive right now. A better example would be when I say that the policy states you cannot receive a reimbursement for an expense that does not benefit the University, I don't mean "I'm not processing your reimbursement because your not on my side." Trying to guess what people really mean is too distracting for me, I take it to extremes and come up with some guesses that are way off. This is why I really appreciate people who state exactly what they mean. This also comes from growing up in a passive/aggressive family where the only truth can be found in a brief moment of an unguarded facial expression.
So....what was my point? I don't remember anymore. I'm stuck in the "speak plainly" gear.
On another completely different note, I caught one segment of 60 Minutes this weekend which talked about how Denmark contains the happiest people on earth. Being that it was only a 20 minute segment, I feel that there were way too many factors not considered such as housing and food prices, the state of public transportation, and a few others needed before one could get an accurate picture of whether you could move to Denmark and become happy. But it did raise an interesting question of what it takes to be happy. Money didn't seem to be on the list. While 50% of Dane's incomes are taxed, they also get free health care, elder care, 6 weeks of vacation and on average, work 37 hours a week. They generally don't own big, expensive things like fancy cars or boats because they don't have a lot of disposable income left after taxes but then again, they don't seem to need it to be happy. If you don't have to worry about hospital stays or who'll take care of you when you get old, then I could see how you'd be a lot happier. I would. The main reason I want more money is to save for the day when I won't be able to work and will have to pay someone to take care of me. That and a house with an upstairs....I really want a house with more than one level. The idea of taking the stairs up to bed makes me happy. Also, the idea of carpeting the stairs and sliding down them makes me happy too.
I was thinking about what would make me happy as I was trying to scrounge my way through the weekend without going over my budget when I decided that a fire pit would really make me happy and budget be damned, I bought a fire pit. I haven't used it yet but just knowing it's there makes me happy. Now I just need to get my hands on a Korg and happiness will abound.
One more thing...
Quickie this morning....I'm at the last day of training for the new system this morning. I'm in WBOB which is one of a thousand acronyms here which means West Bank Office Building but it's really not on the West Bank, its in its own little world across the freeway or what used to be the freeway and will soon be the freeway again. Due to it's proximity, one is able to view the progress of the new bridge. I've noticed that their replacing all of the metal parts with PVC pipe so I think that should go well.
I have more to say but no time to say it so I'm off.
I have more to say but no time to say it so I'm off.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Just Give Me the Frickin' Training Manual, I'll Do It On My Own
The last two days were an exercise in frustration. The University is moving to a new financial software system which requires over 4,500 staff employees to go through several training classes. I get so frustrated with these classes because they're dumbed down to a point that I find offensive until some person in the class raises their hand and asks a really stupid question, then I understand why the classes have to be dumbed down - because stupid people are everywhere. I know that my spelling is horrible and therefore I keep the Merriam-Webster link on my favorites and I don't enter any spelling bees. When I am hired to know the travel policies, I know them. The stupid people are the ones who are hired to know something and never bother to learn it.
When you're in an all-day training session, it prevents you from doing any other work and it is also generally accepted that your usual work will not be done that day. All you have to do is sit in a training session and LISTEN. I don't know what the stupid people are focusing on but they aren't listening to the trainer and will ask a question about a topic that was JUST COVERED ONLY A SPLIT SECOND AGO!!!! All they have to do is sit and listen and they can't even do that. Argh.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, let me go on to tell about how I turn into a rebellious teenager as soon as I enter one of these training rooms. At the beginning of the session, the sticky name tags are handed out along with a sharpie and you are instructed to write your name and pass the pen down. I passed the pen down without writing my name. No name tag for me. HA, that'll show 'em. When I first entered the room on Wednesday, one of the trainers said "You can see better in front." Really??!! Gee, I never would have imagined that. I decided to sit in the very last seat with my reason being that I am extremely far-sighted with a vision acuity of 20/5. I could probably read the board from home. From my seat in the back, I'm also able to assess the different types of people in the room.
People can be lumped into different groups, one of which is the out-of-towners; groups of 3 - 4 people from a different campus who had to start out driving at 4:00am to get here on time and are now a bit giddy, they don't ask questions, they're only looking forward to lunchtime so they can head over to Grumpy's and loosen up a bit. Then there's the Questioners; all of the stupid people can be found here, they don't ever open their email or play solitaire during the boring moments or touch their computer in any other way until instructed and even then they touch it in the wrong way, they're not familiar with the procedures, forms, names, reason for being here, etc. etc. The last group are the people who could have probably received about an hour's worth of instruction and would figure the rest out on their own, just like they always do. They can be found to put their fingers up to their temples whenever a Questioner raises a hand and they're always the first out of the door at the end of the session.
Thursday's class was led by a woman who hadn't taught that class in awhile and couldn't seem to kick it out of first gear. She kept using the phrase "Let's plow ahead in the interest of time". The only problem was that the plowing never commenced, only the mention of plowing which took up most of the time. If we had actually plowed, we would have been done by the projected time of 2:00pm, instead it dragged on to 3:00pm which made me nice and cranky for the rest of the evening.
Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the weekend which will include sleeping in and yard work, hopefully in the sun. Maybe I can also work on stress relieving techniques to get me through two more days of training next Monday and Tuesday. Argh.
When you're in an all-day training session, it prevents you from doing any other work and it is also generally accepted that your usual work will not be done that day. All you have to do is sit in a training session and LISTEN. I don't know what the stupid people are focusing on but they aren't listening to the trainer and will ask a question about a topic that was JUST COVERED ONLY A SPLIT SECOND AGO!!!! All they have to do is sit and listen and they can't even do that. Argh.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, let me go on to tell about how I turn into a rebellious teenager as soon as I enter one of these training rooms. At the beginning of the session, the sticky name tags are handed out along with a sharpie and you are instructed to write your name and pass the pen down. I passed the pen down without writing my name. No name tag for me. HA, that'll show 'em. When I first entered the room on Wednesday, one of the trainers said "You can see better in front." Really??!! Gee, I never would have imagined that. I decided to sit in the very last seat with my reason being that I am extremely far-sighted with a vision acuity of 20/5. I could probably read the board from home. From my seat in the back, I'm also able to assess the different types of people in the room.
People can be lumped into different groups, one of which is the out-of-towners; groups of 3 - 4 people from a different campus who had to start out driving at 4:00am to get here on time and are now a bit giddy, they don't ask questions, they're only looking forward to lunchtime so they can head over to Grumpy's and loosen up a bit. Then there's the Questioners; all of the stupid people can be found here, they don't ever open their email or play solitaire during the boring moments or touch their computer in any other way until instructed and even then they touch it in the wrong way, they're not familiar with the procedures, forms, names, reason for being here, etc. etc. The last group are the people who could have probably received about an hour's worth of instruction and would figure the rest out on their own, just like they always do. They can be found to put their fingers up to their temples whenever a Questioner raises a hand and they're always the first out of the door at the end of the session.
Thursday's class was led by a woman who hadn't taught that class in awhile and couldn't seem to kick it out of first gear. She kept using the phrase "Let's plow ahead in the interest of time". The only problem was that the plowing never commenced, only the mention of plowing which took up most of the time. If we had actually plowed, we would have been done by the projected time of 2:00pm, instead it dragged on to 3:00pm which made me nice and cranky for the rest of the evening.
Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the weekend which will include sleeping in and yard work, hopefully in the sun. Maybe I can also work on stress relieving techniques to get me through two more days of training next Monday and Tuesday. Argh.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Don't look now
So I get a few minutes before my training class starts today in how to process travel crap in the new financial system. I better be careful about what I'm writing because I'm sitting in the last row next to the door and someone coming in may be able to read about my lack of enthusiasm.
Um....ah.....hmmmmm. I guess I'm risking someone reading this for nothing because I really don't have much to say. Maybe I'll have more at lunch. Probably not. Maybe. It's going to be one of those days.
Um....ah.....hmmmmm. I guess I'm risking someone reading this for nothing because I really don't have much to say. Maybe I'll have more at lunch. Probably not. Maybe. It's going to be one of those days.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Uncomfortably Numb
Yesterday was filled with too many near-misses and some dead-on misses. I got to duck out of work early but it was for a dentist appointment so it's not like it was a holiday. I had to get a filling replaced. The dentist had to shoot me up three times...with Novocaine. When my lip wasn't numb after the first four minutes, they decided they better be sure so they hit me up again and waited another five minutes. I could tell that part of the inside of my mouth was numb but my lip wasn't numb yet. They went ahead and started drilling anyways. Everything was okay for the first few seconds but then he hit a nerve and my torso just about went through the overhead light. It was like a combo of a punch in the face while holding my finger in a light socket, except all concentrated in my tooth.
After the dentist got his blood pressure back down to normal, he hit me up a third time with something they referred to as "PM" which they assured me would take affect immediately. I was wondering why they hadn't used that to begin with but my mouth was full of cotton, a plastic square, a vacuum and the dentist's fingers so I couldn't voice my question. It's probably too expensive to be using frivolously. I could barely bite down on it the rest of the day and it actually still hurts this morning. I got home early and had some time before fight practice so I chilled on the couch with my jaw pulsing so I grabbed my new best friend, Advil.
Advil did the trick well enough so that I could concentrate at practice and even come up with some good lines to go along with the choreography. Towards the end of the session, I started to lose focus and swiped the blade too close to her eyes. No good. No good at all. We called it a night while we both had two eyes because I'm sure if I had managed to take one of hers, she would have removed one of mine in return.
I then headed out to MNCS at The Beat coffee house to witness Jenzie's first time up at stand-up. She didn't seem nervous, in fact she was the same on stage as she is when she's talking to you on the street. She had a pretty short slot so hopefully she'll be able to do a bit more in the future. I have to say, I felt pretty old sitting in that theater surrounded by all of those teenagers. I was sitting behind the row of parents who had come out to support their kids performing that night. It made me really wish I had known of those types of places when I was a teenager. I wonder how I would have turned out? *shudder* The last comic of the night used profanity quite liberally in his set and also made a reference to racist Oregonians (not that all Oregonians are racist, he was referring to racists who happen to live in Oregon) which I thought was pretty clever but the parents didn't approve. They made the occasional parental headshake which indicates that you're in big trouble now mister. That made me feel young again. At least I can still understand the youngin's.
As a public service announcement, I'd like to remind you that TPT channel 13 is airing a Stevie Ray Vaughan special starting at 8:30pm tonight. If you feel like missing it, you just don't understand good guitar playing. I weep for you.
After the dentist got his blood pressure back down to normal, he hit me up a third time with something they referred to as "PM" which they assured me would take affect immediately. I was wondering why they hadn't used that to begin with but my mouth was full of cotton, a plastic square, a vacuum and the dentist's fingers so I couldn't voice my question. It's probably too expensive to be using frivolously. I could barely bite down on it the rest of the day and it actually still hurts this morning. I got home early and had some time before fight practice so I chilled on the couch with my jaw pulsing so I grabbed my new best friend, Advil.
Advil did the trick well enough so that I could concentrate at practice and even come up with some good lines to go along with the choreography. Towards the end of the session, I started to lose focus and swiped the blade too close to her eyes. No good. No good at all. We called it a night while we both had two eyes because I'm sure if I had managed to take one of hers, she would have removed one of mine in return.
I then headed out to MNCS at The Beat coffee house to witness Jenzie's first time up at stand-up. She didn't seem nervous, in fact she was the same on stage as she is when she's talking to you on the street. She had a pretty short slot so hopefully she'll be able to do a bit more in the future. I have to say, I felt pretty old sitting in that theater surrounded by all of those teenagers. I was sitting behind the row of parents who had come out to support their kids performing that night. It made me really wish I had known of those types of places when I was a teenager. I wonder how I would have turned out? *shudder* The last comic of the night used profanity quite liberally in his set and also made a reference to racist Oregonians (not that all Oregonians are racist, he was referring to racists who happen to live in Oregon) which I thought was pretty clever but the parents didn't approve. They made the occasional parental headshake which indicates that you're in big trouble now mister. That made me feel young again. At least I can still understand the youngin's.
As a public service announcement, I'd like to remind you that TPT channel 13 is airing a Stevie Ray Vaughan special starting at 8:30pm tonight. If you feel like missing it, you just don't understand good guitar playing. I weep for you.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Roma does not have Salmonella
I finally did it. I finally got out on water with a water vessel and rowed until both sides of my neck started to pinch and I could barely move my wrists. I started out at 7am and landed again at 3:45pm. The water level is nice and high which means I don't have to get out and portage over any sandbars but it does make paddling upstream much more difficult. The water was very calm but it didn't make up for the monstrous current. In case you're wondering, the water is still pretty frickin' cold for swimming. I passed one couple on a pontoon who had jumped into the water and then said "Okay, we've been swimming. Now let's get the hell back on the boat". It's cold.
When I got home later that evening, I conked out on the couch as Finding Nemo was starting and didn't wake up until 9:24pm upon which I hoisted myself up off of the couch and into bed where I remained until 8:00am the next day.
I still managed to be unusually productive on Sunday. My body pains were gone thanks to Advil so I cleaned my entire house like a madwoman, including laundry, and even mowed both lawns complete with raking and sweeping. Yeah, I know, I like I said I don't know what happened either. It'd be nice if this could keep up for a few more days so I could get my garage cleaned.
Today I have to go into the dentist to have a cavity replaced. The last dentist that did it left a ridge on the bottom near the gum line which has caused increased bone loss. Since I'd like to keep my teeth AND gums AND jaw line as long as possible, I'm having the cavity replaced to get a nice smoooooooth edge.
This week is shaping up nicely with lots of practice with lots of different things and let's not forget that the Presidential race is now starting in earnest. Oooooooooooh. I would really love to see Nader take part in any type of debate or town meeting. He's a very good speaker. He's not all that charismatic or even motivational but you will come away with a shitload of more information than you could ever possibly use in your lifetime. That's what I love about him. He can talk for hours (and often does) about any topic and spit fact after fact out at you until your dizzy, which in it's own way is motivational....at least to me.
My climbing rose has it's first bloom...and here's me without any film! It's beautiful. *insert clapping like a seal here*
Friday, June 6, 2008
Help Me Because I'm Helpless
I've heard from a few people that Al Franken is a jerk. Okay, but keep in mind that there are lots of jerks out there and many of them can do their jobs very well so that's not a reason vote against him. A brainstorming/writing session occurring in 1995 for Saturday Night Live where the word "rape" was used by him is also not a reason to vote against him. I would love to be able to state a strong opinion on the two articles only I CAN'T FIND THEM!!! I've been searching the internets for a short while here and am not having any luck, so if anyone has a link to them, could you please pass it on? If the Republican party is so certain that these two articles would prove Franken's inability to lead, then why are they not making them readily available? Why not canvas the neighborhoods and stick them under the windshield wipers of every car on every street?
The Republican Party of MN has posted a letter from Ron Carey to all DFLers of Minnesota. They appear to be so incredibly offended by the material in Playboy and if so, then why have they not tried to tear this behemoth of degradation against women, which has been in print since 1953(?), to the ground? If they did that though, what will they read on the plane?
I always chuckle when the Playboy article reference includes a statement like "he engages in oral sex, as well as sex with a robot" This is a nice moment to bring up a plug for the BNW's 50th anniversary show where you will be able to judge for yourself just how funny rape and a robot can be. Since a third of the BNW cast participating in this skit is out of the state this weekend, perhaps they should remain on the lam until this all cools down. You never know how the women of Minnesota are going to react. Since we clearly can't decipher a man writing a satirical piece from a man who wants to rape women, then we are probably also to stupid to know how to form our rage into words. Thank goodness Ron Carey was able to dictate that for us. I also didn't know that I'm expecting an apology from Franken, so again, thanks Ron Carey for reminding me.
Okay, now that I'm nice and wound up about that, I should shift my thoughts to this weekend and the fact that I'm making another attempt at kayaking tomorrow. After all of this rain, the water levels should be nice and high. I really need the exercise since fight practice was canceled last night (not a good idea to wield metal when there's lightning about) and I haven't walked to work lately. Sure, I could have done a few calisthenics in my living room last night but why do that when I can cuddle up on the couch and watch Stevie Ray Vaughan's live performances on Austin City Limits? That was awesome.
Okay, time to check in with the Republicans to see if I'm tying my shoes correctly. Oh wait, my shoes don't have shoe laces. Whew! Dodged a bullet there.
The Republican Party of MN has posted a letter from Ron Carey to all DFLers of Minnesota. They appear to be so incredibly offended by the material in Playboy and if so, then why have they not tried to tear this behemoth of degradation against women, which has been in print since 1953(?), to the ground? If they did that though, what will they read on the plane?
I always chuckle when the Playboy article reference includes a statement like "he engages in oral sex, as well as sex with a robot" This is a nice moment to bring up a plug for the BNW's 50th anniversary show where you will be able to judge for yourself just how funny rape and a robot can be. Since a third of the BNW cast participating in this skit is out of the state this weekend, perhaps they should remain on the lam until this all cools down. You never know how the women of Minnesota are going to react. Since we clearly can't decipher a man writing a satirical piece from a man who wants to rape women, then we are probably also to stupid to know how to form our rage into words. Thank goodness Ron Carey was able to dictate that for us. I also didn't know that I'm expecting an apology from Franken, so again, thanks Ron Carey for reminding me.
Okay, now that I'm nice and wound up about that, I should shift my thoughts to this weekend and the fact that I'm making another attempt at kayaking tomorrow. After all of this rain, the water levels should be nice and high. I really need the exercise since fight practice was canceled last night (not a good idea to wield metal when there's lightning about) and I haven't walked to work lately. Sure, I could have done a few calisthenics in my living room last night but why do that when I can cuddle up on the couch and watch Stevie Ray Vaughan's live performances on Austin City Limits? That was awesome.
Okay, time to check in with the Republicans to see if I'm tying my shoes correctly. Oh wait, my shoes don't have shoe laces. Whew! Dodged a bullet there.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Beaches and Hockey...Perfect Match
It was the U's Staff Day yesterday which includes a free lunch + gift + chance to enter a raffle. I say "chance to enter a raffle" because who ever wins those things??
Get a load of this; they put five tables of advertising crap (Wells Fargo, insurance, etc.) across from the free gift table next to the free food arena. They then expected 3500 employees who all get their lunch times from 12 - 1pm to enter and leave this area in an orderly fashion. Well, they were WAAAAAAAAY off.
I left with two co-workers but quickly lost them after getting sucked into the free gift vortex. I was miraculously spit out next to the eating arena armed with a new umbrella complete with shoulder holster. I opted for the hamburger but then realized I should have chosen the veggie burger because it had more mass. If free food is given out, go for the item with the most mass.
Losing the co-workers wasn't such a bad deal because one of them was Shannon, the Document Prep Dictator with OCD and passive/aggressive tendencies. One cannot even walk by Shannon without being interrogated. To say she's a busy-body is being too kind. She has to know what you're doing and why and will then proceed to explain how you're doing it wrong and why you should do it her way. Since I know how to stand in a line all by myself, I'm glad she wasn't anywhere near me to tell me how I should be nudging closer in a different manner.
I watched The Bounty last night; mainly to view beaches, boats and water but then there was also Mel Gibson pre-crazy and Anthony Hopkins whose controlled rage squeaking out every now and then is always a joy to watch.
That's an interesting study in group cohesion theory. One wonders how it would have ended if Christian didn't take the ship. If the crew was getting to a breaking point anyway, was it inevitable that someone was going to do it? What if they all got together and decided that they'll just kick Bligh's ass when they get back to shore? I also think it's interesting how King Tynah understood perfectly what had happened upon Christian's return and wanted no part of it. I don't blame him, I hate getting in the middle of my friends fights. I'm going to have to read the book. I wish they would have made me read it in high school instead of Tom Sawyer. Mark Twain may have had some good works but Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn aren't among them. I just can't stand trying to read the colloquialisms. He may have captured a segment of the population to a tee but that's not always a good thing.
I caught the last ten minutes of the Stanley Cup finals. HOLY SMOKES was that a classic, unbelievable ending! When the goalie gets pulled, everyone moves to the edges of their seats or disregards seating all together and choosing to stand instead. That's what Pittsburgh did in the last 2 minutes or so. I can't remember the exact time they pulled him but I know it was less than four minutes. AND they had a power play!!! AAAAAAAAGH!!!! They were down by 2 and it only took them about 30 seconds to score a goal. I wanted Detroit to win, not because I like them but because I think a penguin is a ridiculous mascot for a hockey team. So the pressure is now on and sticks are flying through the air (literally, a redwing defense lost his stick) and Hossa slams the puck straight into Osgood....it hits his arm....and starts to fall like a bad inspirational sport movie...AND GETS WITHIN 3 INCHES OF CROSSING THE LINE AS THE CLOCK HITS ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just can't get any closer than that. Well, I guess you could get two inches closer. I better rest, only 4 more months until the Gopher's season starts.
Get a load of this; they put five tables of advertising crap (Wells Fargo, insurance, etc.) across from the free gift table next to the free food arena. They then expected 3500 employees who all get their lunch times from 12 - 1pm to enter and leave this area in an orderly fashion. Well, they were WAAAAAAAAY off.
I left with two co-workers but quickly lost them after getting sucked into the free gift vortex. I was miraculously spit out next to the eating arena armed with a new umbrella complete with shoulder holster. I opted for the hamburger but then realized I should have chosen the veggie burger because it had more mass. If free food is given out, go for the item with the most mass.
Losing the co-workers wasn't such a bad deal because one of them was Shannon, the Document Prep Dictator with OCD and passive/aggressive tendencies. One cannot even walk by Shannon without being interrogated. To say she's a busy-body is being too kind. She has to know what you're doing and why and will then proceed to explain how you're doing it wrong and why you should do it her way. Since I know how to stand in a line all by myself, I'm glad she wasn't anywhere near me to tell me how I should be nudging closer in a different manner.
I watched The Bounty last night; mainly to view beaches, boats and water but then there was also Mel Gibson pre-crazy and Anthony Hopkins whose controlled rage squeaking out every now and then is always a joy to watch.
That's an interesting study in group cohesion theory. One wonders how it would have ended if Christian didn't take the ship. If the crew was getting to a breaking point anyway, was it inevitable that someone was going to do it? What if they all got together and decided that they'll just kick Bligh's ass when they get back to shore? I also think it's interesting how King Tynah understood perfectly what had happened upon Christian's return and wanted no part of it. I don't blame him, I hate getting in the middle of my friends fights. I'm going to have to read the book. I wish they would have made me read it in high school instead of Tom Sawyer. Mark Twain may have had some good works but Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn aren't among them. I just can't stand trying to read the colloquialisms. He may have captured a segment of the population to a tee but that's not always a good thing.
I caught the last ten minutes of the Stanley Cup finals. HOLY SMOKES was that a classic, unbelievable ending! When the goalie gets pulled, everyone moves to the edges of their seats or disregards seating all together and choosing to stand instead. That's what Pittsburgh did in the last 2 minutes or so. I can't remember the exact time they pulled him but I know it was less than four minutes. AND they had a power play!!! AAAAAAAAGH!!!! They were down by 2 and it only took them about 30 seconds to score a goal. I wanted Detroit to win, not because I like them but because I think a penguin is a ridiculous mascot for a hockey team. So the pressure is now on and sticks are flying through the air (literally, a redwing defense lost his stick) and Hossa slams the puck straight into Osgood....it hits his arm....and starts to fall like a bad inspirational sport movie...AND GETS WITHIN 3 INCHES OF CROSSING THE LINE AS THE CLOCK HITS ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just can't get any closer than that. Well, I guess you could get two inches closer. I better rest, only 4 more months until the Gopher's season starts.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The Turning Point
Well, it seems as if your choices for President have now narrowed by one. I suppose you could still write her in but Hillary won't be seeing her own name printed on a ballot any time soon. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I've always said that I'm just waiting for the day when Hillary finally unzips her skin suit and reveals her true alien self while demanding that we all board the mother ship.
It was quite a lucky break for St. Paul to be the city Obama happened to be in when things were decided. Good thing we're right next to South Dakota otherwise Lambeau Field may have gotten it's time on CNN instead of the Xcel Center.
While watching his speech last night, I couldn't help but think how difficult it would be to NOT become narcissistic and/or egotistical when you have 20,000 people cheering your name while you're standing smack in the middle of them. I'm sure Obama will be heard to say how much of a normal, everyday person he is in the months to come but I bet last night he was thinking "Meeeeeeeeeee...they're all cheering for meeeeeeeeee!". It's been 54 months (okay, really only about 17 months) of non-stop traveling, handshaking, saying what you think others want to hear, shmoozing and retaliating which would be enough to drive anyone over the edge and it all ended with a scene out of Gladiator of a stadium filled with crazed people shouting your name. It's no wonder politicians are crazy. Speaking of crazy politicians, did anyone hear Jesse Jackson's phone interview on CNN last night? Whatever he was having, I'll have some of that right now. The man could barely speak clearly. Maybe they woke him out of a nice slumber.
Did anyone also catch the Three Stooges' show that was the CNN coverage of the goings on last night? They had two rows of political pundits spouting earth-shattering insights on the election, the speeches and prophesying about the future. After Obama's speech coverage, Anderson Cooper said that you just couldn't find three more different speeches (referring to McCain and Clinton also from earlier in the evening). You could if you included a Ku Klux Klan member. I'm just sayin'...it would be drastically different. And in other news, Hulk Hogan's son will remain in solitary confinement. If only we could get the rest of them in there too.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Quick note
In case you're wondering whether it's possible for the Muppets to have outtakes, it is and here is one.
Summer, woo hoo!
Here it is, June. I consider this to be the start of summer. I don't care about when the planets line up or the sun is in the 5th house of my moon sign, June is summer. May is spring and June is summer. It's too bad we didn't have a spring but you can't have everything.
Instead of mowing, I clipped all the dandelions which never get cut when I mow because they just lay over and then pop right back up again. My mower is set too low to mow anyway but clipping the dandelions got rid of the overgrown look.
I also actually laid in the sun for 30 minutes yesterday. I don't know what possessed me to do that. It did help to relax me though. It's even made me hopeful. The fight scene is all mapped, blocked, whatever the term is, the wine show is going to rock, my climbing rose is still nice and healthy and maybe he'll change his mind. Really, I think he should; I'm a cool person once you get to know me. And I can do the splits. Anyhoo...
I skipped the parade on Sunday because I stayed up to watch the Stevie Ray Vaughan doc on PBS. Holy smokes, Riviera Paradise could almost be used in place of anesthesia, it's that soothing. Boy, sometimes I say the strangest things.
When I was about 3, my family would camp in this tiny 16' trailer. My brother and I would sleep up in the bunk bed that had a little ladder that also served as a barricade to keep things and people from rolling out. Well, it didn't work on me and one night I rolled right out between the rungs and fell 3', cracking my skull into the straight edge of the counter top and then tumbling the rest of the way to the floor. My parents were shocked into paralysis expecting the worst but all I did (or so I'm told) was to sit up and look around like "What am I doing down here?" I didn't cry or anything. That one incident may explain a boatload about my current behaviour. Or at least I could try and pin it on that.
I've had a baby bunny living under my deck this spring and up until now I've been thinking about how good Hassenphefer may taste. Sunday afternoon as I was sitting on my deck, the little furry guy came out and hopped around only a few feet away from me. He has tiny little ears and cute little front paws that he tucks in when he sits back on his hind legs. Oh my god, what's going on with me? Am I losing my ferocious edge? Could this tough facade be crumbling all due to a cute, adorable, fluffy, little vegetarian? The one with the cute little nose that wiggles as he looks into my kitchen? Oh my, quickly, I've got to watch a Dirty Harry movie or something. Shh, don't tell anyone about this.
Instead of mowing, I clipped all the dandelions which never get cut when I mow because they just lay over and then pop right back up again. My mower is set too low to mow anyway but clipping the dandelions got rid of the overgrown look.
I also actually laid in the sun for 30 minutes yesterday. I don't know what possessed me to do that. It did help to relax me though. It's even made me hopeful. The fight scene is all mapped, blocked, whatever the term is, the wine show is going to rock, my climbing rose is still nice and healthy and maybe he'll change his mind. Really, I think he should; I'm a cool person once you get to know me. And I can do the splits. Anyhoo...
I skipped the parade on Sunday because I stayed up to watch the Stevie Ray Vaughan doc on PBS. Holy smokes, Riviera Paradise could almost be used in place of anesthesia, it's that soothing. Boy, sometimes I say the strangest things.
When I was about 3, my family would camp in this tiny 16' trailer. My brother and I would sleep up in the bunk bed that had a little ladder that also served as a barricade to keep things and people from rolling out. Well, it didn't work on me and one night I rolled right out between the rungs and fell 3', cracking my skull into the straight edge of the counter top and then tumbling the rest of the way to the floor. My parents were shocked into paralysis expecting the worst but all I did (or so I'm told) was to sit up and look around like "What am I doing down here?" I didn't cry or anything. That one incident may explain a boatload about my current behaviour. Or at least I could try and pin it on that.
I've had a baby bunny living under my deck this spring and up until now I've been thinking about how good Hassenphefer may taste. Sunday afternoon as I was sitting on my deck, the little furry guy came out and hopped around only a few feet away from me. He has tiny little ears and cute little front paws that he tucks in when he sits back on his hind legs. Oh my god, what's going on with me? Am I losing my ferocious edge? Could this tough facade be crumbling all due to a cute, adorable, fluffy, little vegetarian? The one with the cute little nose that wiggles as he looks into my kitchen? Oh my, quickly, I've got to watch a Dirty Harry movie or something. Shh, don't tell anyone about this.
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